Mother's Day is always just weird for me. I decided today that I never really got emotional about it until I worked in the Young Women organization and got a little taste of what it means to be a mother (it was much easier being oblivious, let me tell you.) I had to fight tears a lot today and I know it's selfish, self-absorbed and stupid. I know it - you don't have to tell me it's not all about me because I know it isn't. But I hate that I feel sad on a day like today -- a day that celebrates women.
I disliked feeling like there was a spotlight shining brightly on me each time anyone mentioned women without children of their own but who are still mothers to many (aka, me.) It's a really sweet sentiment and it's comforting but it's also a bit of a heartbreaker too. To keep from crying, I got out my notebook and just took notes all through a truly marvelous Sacrament meeting. One thing I was reminded of today: Eve was called the mother of all living before she even had children. I loved hearing that.
Besides feeling emotional today, I feel thankful knowing that my parents decided to adopt me nearly 42 years ago. I feel thankful that two teenagers knew enough to give me up for adoption so that I could be raised in a family who wanted me and could give me brothers and sisters and a really great life. I feel thankful that the family who chose me was an LDS family...I can't even imagine my life any other way. I have no interest or desire to learn more about them but I hope at least on Mother's Day, the woman who gave me away feels peace in her decision because she made the right one.
I was blessed with a wonderful mother who is fun, kind and giving. My flower pots are filled because she knows it makes me happy to have flowers by my door when I come home from work and she knows I really don't like getting my hands dirty. She is really smart and knows so much about the scriptures. She'll print a verse out on a 3x5 card and bring it with her on her walk (she's walked 2-3 miles a day for the last 30 years) and she'll memorize it. She's the hardest worker I know too. She is always doing something. She lives on 2/3 of an acre and she mows her lawn herself (none of that ride on lawn mower stuff for her either.) Oh and did I mention she's 70? I love my mom -- she is truly a gift.
9 comments:
What a great mom you have!!! And she has raised a wonderful daughter, thats for sure!!!
PS. Are you coming to convention? It would be fun for me, you and Shannon to get together!
Jeanelle, I loved this post. OUr ward used to not really even mention mother's day because the bishop was worried that some women would have a hard time. I can understand that, single women, women with wayward children (because someone always gets up and speaks about how perfect and wonderful their mom is and it just makes you feel like you should have done better), women who had not great mothers etc. etc all have a hard time. You are blessed to have such a wonderful mother, adopted and birth. I cried when I read this post because it was so from the heart and so sweet. I know it is bittersweet, but you truly are another mother for many and I thinkt hese kids needs that extra support to make it. I guess I just wish you lived here! I think you are amazing and my sister and girls are blessed to have you around! Keep up the great posts!
Jeanelle!! I've been thinking about you all day. I hope you've had a good day. My heart aches for you as I read about your pain because I've been there and know what it feels like. I hope you still enjoy being celebrated today though, because you are an AMAZING person and a fabulous mother figure to so many. My husband told me the same thing years ago at the beginning of our struggles: Eve was called the mother of all living before she had children. That truly gave me peace and healed my heart until my time came that I actually got my Tanner. I NEVER wanted to stand up to get the gift they give in sacrament because I didn't have kids and I felt so dumb, but that's not what necessarily makes a mother. After Landon enstilled that confidence in me I stood up the following years without any children by my side, knowing that my Heavenly Father loved me and was grateful for my diligence in being the best wife and woman I could!
You ARE a shining example and role model for so many...even me! Thanks for sharing your heart.
xoxo
And did I know you were adopted? If so, I totally forgot!!! AWESOME!!
What a sweet post. I had no idea you were adopted!
I love you J and I thought about you more than once on Mother's Day. xoxo, m
Well, you know that me and my girls consider you to be a mother in every way! Small consolation, I know. You are one of the bestest people I know and I'm excited to celebrate your born day Saturday! Talk about unselfish -- you're sharing that day with all of us and giving a party to "our" daughter! Okay, that probably sounded weird, but I don't care. haha I love you friend!
I love you second Momma!
What a great post, Jeanelle. I can only imagine how difficult Mother's day must be when you are single. I didn't know you were adopted. yes, you are lucky that you got adopted by an LDS family. You're awesome.
That was a really touching post--thank you for sharing your feelings. :) I somewhat know how you feel--my mom gave me a card on Sunday "to a future mother whos kids have not yet arrived" and even though I know she means well and is expressing faith in my behalf, I weirdly wished she hadn't written that. What I've learned in my mature age is that Mother's Day can be just as hard for some as it is good for others. Kind of ironic!
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