Whiny yet grateful

I counted up the hours I will have spent this week on church calling related meetings and activities and wondered if you'd like to hear the number?  

Prepare yourself. 

22 hours.  

This includes meetings, a New Beginnings, Ward Conferences, a YCL retreat/party, preparing messages for three of those events (I'm giving four different talks/messages this month - it was going to be five but I offloaded one, thankfully.)  This number doesn't include the number of emails, phone calls and texts that were related to my calling (hundreds of email - I am not exaggerating.)  

I'm not complaining.  I really wouldn't have it any other way.  I would be really sad to not be serving the youth of my stake but it's just a little crazy right now.  I am feeling incredibly blessed and inspired as I prepare my talks.  I'm healthy.  I'm getting some sleep (I think I got 10 hours last night - first time in forEVER.) So for the most part, things are okay.

However, I've had a couple of stressful things happen this month - heartbreaking things that have shook me to my core, pretty much.  I've cried a lot.  I've worried a lot.  I've prayed a lot.  I've questioned myself and my decisions.  I've felt completely and utterly alone, at times.

But I really think the reason I haven't curled up into the fetal position and taken to my bed is because of three things...my job, my friends and my calling.  I have been able to go to work each day and concentrate on other things for several hours which has helped a ton.  I have some solid-as-a-rock friends who are there for me consistently and completely.  Friends who invite me to dinner and email me and call me and listen to me whine about my sadness and confusion.  Then I have a calling that brings me such joy, I find it hard to express just exactly how much.

I guess I just want to blog today about gratitude.  Even though another year has begun with me still wanting, I'm grateful that overall, I'm happy and fulfilled.  I'm grateful for my faith and my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I have a good life, a fun life and a life that is filled with love and happiness.  Really, what more could a girl ask for?

Okay a girl could ask for a couple of pictures in a blog once in awhile...here are some random happy things from the holidays:

The Robinson's gave me a Kindle Paperwhite - I wept.

Me and my seester in Mom's pantry

The J's: Jana, Jaylene & Jenilee

My adorable soon to be a missionary in Ecuador niece Dolly

me and the Allen girls

Roberto as a horse

My  mom and Soph

Matt the photo bomb at Natalie's baptism

Catch-up post #3

Part of the reason why I've not been blogging is we have entered into a SUPER busy time of year for stake youth activities.  It seriously amazes me how much we have going on all at once - but it's also wonderful too.  I adore my calling and I'm trying to savor every moment - even when it exhausts me - because I know it won't be mine forever.

Steve, Gary and Meg setting up before the crowds arrived

We have multi-stake activities throughout the year with three other nearby stakes.  Ours is a "Best of EFY." We have two CES speakers come to town and it's an incredible event.  We average around 450-500 youth and we start with a one hour session for the Deacons and Beehives.  Then we take a break and we feed the speakers and other stake leaders a nice lunch.  

The stake YM and YW presidences were talking about the lunch tables and how we should decorate and during our meeting, I mentioned we could get some pansies to use as centerpieces.  Well, the stake YM presidency didn't love the idea of a pansy on the table so the president offered to make a NW themed table for us.  Well, here is what he came up with:

Darling Rebecca helped set the tables and assemble the centerpieces which was a whole lot of fishing gear.  We laughed a lot when we saw what our stake YM president had come up with for the tables but I loved that the women didn't have to come up with the table decor and it really was a great conversation starter.

Our stake YM president is a great cook and he brings his BBQ up to the church and he made the most incredible salmon and roasted red potatoes.  I made Caesar salad and then an awesome dessert that I found online: chocolate chip lava cookies.  The thing I loved about this recipe is that it was quick (one hour max start to finish), easy, delicious, and very guy-friendly.  I highly recommend you make these sometime.

The lovely ladies I serve with:  Meesa, Meg and Christi

After the lunch, the 14-18 year old youth begin to arrive.  They listened to the first speaker and then we fed all 450+ of them a dinner of pizza, veggies and cookies.  After dinner, they listened to the second speaker and then we host a dance.  I was sick all day with a bad cold so everyone let me take it easy and I got to hang out in coat check most of the night.  

We had a great time and we leaders went home exhausted but it was totally worth it.  We were sad to find out that CES will no longer send us speakers so we have to come up with a new activity for next year (our stake has been doing this for years!) I'm sure we'll figure something out but I'm disappointed that the kids around here who can't afford to go to EFY will no longer be able to hear speakers of that caliber without having to travel or pay a lot of money.

What I'm doing on this Sabbath day

I just started thinking about everything I have to do tomorrow and it made my head hurt.  I love Sundays - seriously, I really do but most of my Sundays make me wish it was time for General Conference again.  Oh to have nowhere to go and nothing to do but sit on the couch for two days straight!

Anyway, here is what I'm doing tomorrow:

1. Skipping two ward conferences and trying not to feel guilty about it.
2. Speaking to a group of young women from another ward during their Sunday class time
3. Writing what I need to say to the girls mentioned in item #2.
4. Attending my own ward's sacrament meeting to hear an outgoing missionary speak and my friend Natalie sing
5. Attending yet another ward's sacrament meeting to hear a friend speak
6. Making manicotti and all that goes with it for 18 people.  Yes.  18 people. Well, 8 of those people are under the age of 13 but still...
7. Celebrating my sister Jaylene's 33rd birthday with said manicotti dinner. I don't seem to have a good picture of the two of us so I'll try to take one tomorrow. Instead, here's an awesome pic of her and her sweet family that I lifted off of Facebook.

Happy birthday Bethy!!! xoxo

Most Excellent

Tonight I had the great pleasure to attend a Young Women in Excellence night for one of the wards in my stake.  It came at the end of an especially trying day at work which was followed by an afternoon of dance festival meetings at two opposite ends of town, a 15 minute stop with Meesa for a quick dinner and then a drive through rain and traffic to yet another opposite (lol) end of town.  So basically, my day was kind of, well, it was pretty much a stinky day.

I arrived at the church and walked into the room where the special event was to be held and was immediately greeted by a chorus of "Sister Shaw! Sister Shaw" from the girls.  (Seriously, how great is it to be me?  Trust me.  It's really great.)  The program began and after the opening prayer, we stood and said the Young Women theme.  The Holy Ghost bore witness to me so powerfully that the things we were saying were true.

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us and we love Him.

We will stand as witnesses of God 

at all times, and in all things, and in all places

as we strive to live the Young Women Values, which are:

Faith

Divine Nature

Individual Worth

Knowledge

Choice and Accountability

Good Works

Integrity and

Virtue

We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values,

we will be prepared to strengthen home and family

make and keep sacred covenants,

receive the ordinances of the temple,

and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

Three of the young women then took turns talking about important activities they had participated in this year:  Young Women Camp, Pioneer Trek and various service projects.  At some point, I leaned over to Meg who is in the stake YW presidency with me and said, "we have the best callings!" and she agreed.

The girls then sang "My Grateful Spirit Sings" which was one of the songs we sang in our recent youth musical.  I could no longer hold back the tears as I looked at each one of their beautiful faces and thought "I love each one of these girls."  I'd had a feeling like that once before, many years ago, when I was a newly called ward YW counselor, wondering if I'd ever be able to love all of the girls in my stewardship.  I'm grateful that even though my group of young women is much larger now, I have been blessed by my Heavenly Father with the capacity to love each one of them completely and unconditionally.

The young women each then took a turn describing a personal progress value project they had completed or were still working on.  Three or four of them mentioned our recent musical and what an impact it had on their lives.  I love that our stake programs, while sometimes challenging and often time consuming, provide faith-promoting and testimony building experiences for our youth.  The church is so great!

I'm so grateful for the blessings I receive because of my church service.  I'm thankful every day that I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I know that I'm a daughter of God and that He loves me.  I know that Jesus Christ is my brother and that He died for my sins.  I know the Bible and the Book of Mormon are the word of God.  I know that we have a living prophet on the earth today and he is Thomas S. Monson.

Sweet is the peace the gospel brings...every minute of every day.

Church bulletin excerpt

I'll blog about my super fun weekend soon (which includes a ward Christmas party with interesting food and our family Christmas party with an ugly Christmas sweater contest) but first I want to share an actual cut & paste from our bulletin today. Note the bolded word below.

SINGLE ADULT FAMILY SNOW DAY: On January 16, 2010 join single adults and their families for a great day of fun in the snow! There will be snowboarding, skiing, rubbing and snowshoeing at Snoqualmie Pass. Carpool from the temple parking lot at 8:30 am, the North Bend building at 9:00 am with cocoa and rolls at 8:30...

Think I should go to this activity??

The Jeanelle Show

Sometimes I go for months just living my life and doing my thing, staying in the background as much as possible. But every so often, a so-called "perfect storm" begins to brew and I find myself in the spotlight a little too much. Let me explain by sharing what I've been up to and will be up to this week:

• I performed the musical number at Sacrament meeting today -- I sang a duet with a very fun friend. I had to sing a little part all by myself, which was frightening because I'm a choir singer, not a soloist. However, nobody ran out of the chapel holding their ears so I think it was okay.
• We were a presidency of two today in Primary and since our secretary has been trying to get released for 4 months so she can concentrate solely on being the music leader, it meant a lot of running around for me. I conducted, did the secretary stuff and tried not to panic when our Nursery leader came in and said she was the only one there today. Thank goodness another nursery worker showed up eventually.
• I'm reading a Christmas story during the program at our Enrichment Christmas party this Tuesday.
• I'm singing in a small group during the program at our Enrichment Christmas party this Tuesday.
• Oh and I'm also now one of the MC's for the program at the Enrichment Christmas party this Tuesday.

That's kind of a lot of Jeanelle in a three day period, don't you think??? I'm a little sick of myself and it's not even Tuesday yet.

I'm co-hosting a bridal shower at work later this week and the mom-to-be was just diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Anyone have a tried-and-true yummy and also sugar free dessert recipe I can make for her?

Visiting Teaching

I'm a rotten visiting teacher - truly. I'm not just saying that for the people who know me to say "oh Jeanelle, that's not true." Because really, I sort of stink at it. A few years ago, I was given a really fantastic companion who makes me better. She makes the appointments, I teach the lessons and occasionally bake treats. It's a perfect mix.

About six months ago, this woman I knew as a youth moved into my ward. She's no longer attending church regularly, which is sad because she is an amazing person with many talents and spiritual gifts. I told my partner that I wanted to request her for our route. She concurred so I called the RS President, made the suggestion and waited. Finally, her records showed up and we got her on our list.

On our first visit, the three of us talked for nearly two hours. We heard her reasons for not attending church and told her that our ward was different than the one she moved from, the one where she felt invisible. Her birthday is this week so my stupendous partner called this morning and said the sister was free for lunch and could I meet them. Of course, I ditched work and did just that. We had so much fun! The sister said during the visit "I haven't had visiting teachers in so long - this is so nice." It made me feel really good to know that the gesture of lunch meant so much to her (and I take zero credit -- all of the glory goes to my partner.) I'm hoping and praying that she will let go of the hurt and anger that is keeping her from regular church attendance. I'm not expecting to "save" her but I really love the idea that our visits might matter a little bit.