Wickedly random

Kim and I are going to see "Wicked" tonight! I saw it the last time it was in town but this is the kind of play I can see over and over and never get bored. I'm going into tonight feeling a little melancholy because I had bought tickets for Ida and her family to attend a couple of weeks ago but she was too ill.

Yesterday was the funeral - it was very emotional for me but also just a wonderful opportunity to honor and celebrate her life. I got to see lots of old friends plus my mom, Kim & Lynda came (Kim and Lynda only met Ida maybe once -- good friends are the best!) Today I'm driving with friends a few hours to attend Ida's burial then hurrying back to get to Wicked tonight. Busy day!

Okay, Biggest Loser...I loathe "game play" on this show. Loathe. It. I don't get why Tracey did what she did when if she just would have had a little faith in herself, she would have been safe for next week anyway. The girl has major trust issues, obviously. It'll be interesting to see what happens next week, how the rest of the people treat her, etc. She came off pretty ugly last night. Sad.

I love my bed. It's gotten chilly at night here so my down comforter is back. I slept 9 hours last night. I'm sure it had something to do with crying all day yesterday but I'll take it. Sleeping is one of my favorite things.

I downloaded the new Mariah Carey album on Amazon -- only $5.99 when I got it yesterday. Such a deal (and it's fantastic!) Remember people -- check Amazon before you buy music because they are always having sales and stuff is way cheaper than on iTunes AND it converts perfectly for your iPod/iPhone (including album art.)

General Conference this weekend. I can hardly wait. But first, I'm going to a cool hotel/spa with Heidi Jo to celebrate her birthday. It'll be a great weekend for rest, relaxation and renewal. Sigh...just what I need!

Randomness from an insomniac

Thanks to everyone who has commented, emailed or written me FB messages about Ida. You are all just the greatest people and I'm honored to know you. However, rather than talk about sad stuff on this night when I cannot sleep, I'm going to talk about some random stuff that's running through my brain.

• My current favorite song is by Miley Cyrus. How is that even possible?


• And speaking of, the Hannah Montana movie was surprisingly fun to watch.


• I love the sliced, pre-packaged apples at Costco (they're in the freezing cold produce area. Seriously, they should hand out blankets to wrap up in before you cross the threshold into that section.) Yes I know it's cheaper to buy whole apples but it's worth the extra cost for me to be guaranteed a good apple every time (and let's be honest, it's another "I can buy what I want" blessing.)


• And speaking of that, I bought a very cute black Coach bag at the outlets last weekend. I could have bought like five bags (well, if I had lots of money to blow on such things.) So many cute bags there but I went with black because I don't own a black purse (okay, I don't own a black purse that I love) and everyone needs a black purse (that she loves!)


• TV show thoughts: Have you watched "Drop Dead Diva" on Lifetime? It's a surprisingly sweet show. I just can't watch "Grey's Anatomy" yet - too painful. "Biggest Loser" is so much better this year. I love that there seems to be more teaming and I love that they have Jillian & Bob working together (at least, so far.)


• I love the Italian chop salads at Trader Joe's (thank you, KMZT, my personal TJ's shopper!) I wish I had a TJ's near my house...sigh.


• Saw a preview for yet another Sandra Bullock movie coming out this year, The Blind Side. I can't wait to see it. Click here for a preview.


• Finally we can send picture texts on iPhones. Yay!


• And speaking of iPhones, this is my new wallpaper. It's my happy place and I'm in desperate need of a happy place right now.

Sad but grateful

Ida passed away this afternoon. She spent more than 24 hours off the ventilator, breathing in and out using irreparably damaged lungs. She's a fighter, that girl.

I'm sad to lose my dear friend of more than 15 years. I'm sad that I won't get to hear her talk or hear her laugh. I'm sad that she doesn't get to continue to spoil her nieces and nephews. I'm sad that I don't get to go to her wedding in January. I'm sad that so many of you never got the chance to meet her.

I'm grateful to know that I will see her again someday. I'm grateful for the power of prayer and Priesthood blessings. I'm grateful to have a job where I have paid time off. I'm grateful for a boss who never makes me feel guilty when I need to be anywhere other than the office. I'm grateful for all of the people in my life who check on me, worry about me and love me.

And seriously? I'm done with death and funerals in 2009. DONE!

An Ida Update

I cannot relax or shut my brain off tonight so I thought I'd blog/journal instead.

There's been no major improvements with Ida. Tomorrow is the day for decisions. Wednesday marks two weeks of her being on the ventilator and that's apparently the max. The pneumonia is gone, which is good, but she still can't go more than a few minutes without the ventilator, which is not good. The doctors will tell the family tomorrow if they've found more cancer. It's still in her brain and spinal fluid and we think there has to be more in her lungs and that's what is keeping her from being able to breathe on her own. An oxygen mask cannot provide enough air for her to breathe comfortably. She may have the option to get a tracheotomy but we're not sure she'll be strong enough for that and the family is also unsure if it's the right thing for her anyway. I just don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. I don't know if she has more time or if she has the strength to continue to fight this battle here on earth.

We went up on Monday to visit her and I cried pretty much the entire 3 hours we were there. It was hard to see my lovely, vibrant, personality-plus friend in a hospital bed and unable to talk. She woke up several times while we were there, which was such a gift/blessing. She hadn't done much of that over the last week. She'd make eye contact at times and she would shake her head or shrug her shoulders when we'd ask her questions. Her sister Lily asked her if she could read her journal at one point and Ida shook her head "no" SO fast. It was pretty funny.

Just before we left, she looked at me and then at the ventilator tube and I could feel her say "I hate this, I hate this." I could feel her unhappiness so strongly and it just broke my heart. I held her hand until she fell asleep again and then we left.

I keep thinking how grateful I am for my knowledge that friendships are eternal. I'm grateful that situations like these bring families and friends closer together. There is nothing quite like a good friend and I'm blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life who look out for me and take care of me.

I hate cancer.

Our annual Christmas brunch, December 2008

I found out this morning that Ida, the beautiful girl in the red jacket above, is not expected to make it through the week.

I know as much as I know anything in this world that there's a plan, a plan that gives me peace and comfort in times like this. However, this knowledge still doesn't relieve my silly and selfish hope that she will miraculously recover from the stupid pneumonia that has kept her intubated in the hospital for the last few weeks. This knowledge doesn't keep my heart from breaking at the thought of my life without her in it. I ache for her sisters, her brothers, her fiance and her extended family.

This is so horribly unfair.

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Want to know why? Okay, I'll tell you. There are actually two reasons.

1. Duh. You knew what my first reason was going to be, didn't you? Fall TV!

The Office? Hilarious! Who wants to be on my poopball team with me? And seriously, can Jim and Pam be any cuter?

Biggest Loser? Heartbreaking! However, does yelling & swearing at people like that really make them want to work out, Jillian? Come on, really?

Parks & Recreation? Hysterical! Leslie doing her DJ Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince best at the beginning was so awesome.

Glee? Okay, I don't have an H word for this one because I'm struggling with the naughtiness of this show. I adore the music, hate a lot of the rest. Why do they have to do that with this show? Lots of kids watch it!! :(

So You Think You Can Dance? Happiness! I heard that Adam Shankman is the permanent 3rd judge and that thrills me. I heart him so much.

And the #2 reason why it's the most wonderful time of the year?

It's frog time, Jasmine! (You may have moved away but I wanted you to see what you were missing...hope this doesn't make you too homesick!)

Every year about this time, I come home at night and find frogs hanging out around my front door. In past years, I've even had lizards waiting for me. They kind of freak me out because I'm always afraid they are going to try and hop inside after I unlock my door and then what will I do?

This week, I've had a total of 6 frogs awaiting my arrival home at night. Thursday night, this guy was on the wall/siding, pointed toward my front door, ready to hop in and watch The Office with me.

Please ignore the grossness around him -- I don't even want to know what he was doing before I came home but I'm getting the hose out later.

All sorts of good amongst the not so good

Work has been crazily stressful and busy but I'm so grateful to be employed. Every night is filled with something to do so I have little to no "Jeanelle time" but at least I'm busy and have good friends and family who want to be around me. Ida's in the hospital with pneumonia but getting better and doesn't have more cancer in her lungs, as they thought previously. There's a light at the end of the tunnel at work. Jill's adopting (OH MY GOODNESS!) Mr Crushworthy spent a few hours by my side this morning (SWOON!) And now tonight, I'm watching today's episode of Oprah and literally dancing on my couch. If you haven't watched this yet, please do so now. Seriously, seriously, SERIOUSLY awesome!

Here's a link since the youtube video no longer works.

Tell me you loved this as much as me. When that first girl started I thought "what a weirdo!" LOL. There's a more aerial-view video but the sound isn't as good...but it's pretty cool to watch.

I'll blog more later...don't give up on me! xoxo