I'm in one. I've been in one all week. I've tried really hard to fake that I'm okay and I think I've been mostly successful (meaning, I haven't started bawling in front of anyone.)
It started with a challenging Sunday -- a challenge that has left me feeling like I'm a jerk and a failure and like I'm disappointing people. Of course, there's the whole "I miss my dog" element to add to the funk and then it snowballs and my mind starts focusing on all of my faults and everything that's wrong with my life. By this time, I'm firmly entrenched in the funk with no way out that I can see.
However, the little black rain cloud finally lifted when I went to the temple tonight (that's a really good place to go when you're feeling sad.) I know Heavenly Father loves me and I know he doesn't want me to be sad. I'm going to continue to try and shake the sadness off and focus on the good.
I'm already on my way.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Molly
This is going to be a lengthy post about my dog -- if you are not an animal person just move on and come back and read my blog another day. I promise I won't hold a grudge. Well, at least not for long anyway.
On March 12, 2007, I made the incredibly difficult decision to have my dog put to sleep. She was an almost 12 year old shih tzu and we brought her home when she was 7 weeks old. She had a heart murmur that was causing her to struggle to breathe. She'd been on all sorts of medications for the last six months of her life but nothing was helping her to be comfortable so my mom and I took her to the vet that last time and said our goodbyes. It was absolutely horrible. So with a stack of kleenex close at hand, here's a list of Molly memories:
2. We decided on the name Molly right away. I think we even named her before we got her but the name totally fit her and her personality. She had a ton of nicknames over the course of her life but the one that pretty much stuck was LaLa, which had evolved from Lolly (as in Lolly Lolly Lolly Get Your Adverbs Here!) But at times she was called Feesh, Norman, Ubu, Molly Lou Modesty and more.
4. She loved chasing flashlight beams on the floor and stalking the squirrels and cats in my mom's backyard. It was hilarious watching her run out toward the tree where the squirrels were and then go right on past them, completely missing them. She was not the smartest dog in the world but she made up for it in cuteness. (I think shih tzus are like #70 on the intelligence list!)She also loved her rope-rope (a big rope ball that she'd put in her mouth and almost knead with her feet - kind of weird but like a pacifier almost.) She was really good at fetching and she loved chewing those throw-away plastic pots that plants come in. She also would dribble a tether ball around the backyard when she was younger. Seriously.
6. She LOVED the snow! She'd put her nose down and run all over the backyard and then come in with snow caked all over legs and belly. You can kind of see the snow on her chin in the pic below.
8. My 3 year old niece Makenna loved to walk Molly with me. One day Molly stopped to smell a shrub and Kenna wanted to know what was so special about it so she went up and smelled it herself. I wish I had a picture - it was hilarious.
It was not always easy being a pet owner with my busy lifestyle and I was frequently guilt-ridden that I wasn't home enough or annoyed that I had to stop at home before going out again to take her for a walk but she was truly a great pet and companion. I know some would say "she was just an animal" but she loved me and I loved her. Having her in my life made me happy. I miss her, less now a year later, but I still wish I could come home and find her waiting for me.
On March 12, 2007, I made the incredibly difficult decision to have my dog put to sleep. She was an almost 12 year old shih tzu and we brought her home when she was 7 weeks old. She had a heart murmur that was causing her to struggle to breathe. She'd been on all sorts of medications for the last six months of her life but nothing was helping her to be comfortable so my mom and I took her to the vet that last time and said our goodbyes. It was absolutely horrible. So with a stack of kleenex close at hand, here's a list of Molly memories:1. She was a tiny little 4 pound furball when we brought her home. I think the pic above is her shortly after we got her. She was so little that she'd cry for us to pick her up and help her move from the grass to the patio - that little step was too big for her.
2. We decided on the name Molly right away. I think we even named her before we got her but the name totally fit her and her personality. She had a ton of nicknames over the course of her life but the one that pretty much stuck was LaLa, which had evolved from Lolly (as in Lolly Lolly Lolly Get Your Adverbs Here!) But at times she was called Feesh, Norman, Ubu, Molly Lou Modesty and more.
3. She didn't like kids. And okay, truth be told, she didn't like a lot of people. period. Well, she liked people if they would ignore her. She got better with kids if they'd give her space and time for her to get used to them. But pretty much she loved me and my mom. I was the only one who could pick her up and hold her like a baby though - she'd growl at everyone else.
4. She loved chasing flashlight beams on the floor and stalking the squirrels and cats in my mom's backyard. It was hilarious watching her run out toward the tree where the squirrels were and then go right on past them, completely missing them. She was not the smartest dog in the world but she made up for it in cuteness. (I think shih tzus are like #70 on the intelligence list!)She also loved her rope-rope (a big rope ball that she'd put in her mouth and almost knead with her feet - kind of weird but like a pacifier almost.) She was really good at fetching and she loved chewing those throw-away plastic pots that plants come in. She also would dribble a tether ball around the backyard when she was younger. Seriously.
5. She loved treats of any kind, especially plain old milk bones. She also loved cheese, cookies, pineapple, and chicken teriyaki. Sometimes she'd run over to the neighbor's house and wouldn't come back and the only way you could get her back is to yell "want some cheeeeeeeeeeeeeese?"
6. She LOVED the snow! She'd put her nose down and run all over the backyard and then come in with snow caked all over legs and belly. You can kind of see the snow on her chin in the pic below.
7. She made this funny noise in the back of her throat when she wanted something or was excited. I wish I could communicate it via this blog but I will just be happy knowing my sister Jenilee is making that noise right now as she reads this!! lol
8. My 3 year old niece Makenna loved to walk Molly with me. One day Molly stopped to smell a shrub and Kenna wanted to know what was so special about it so she went up and smelled it herself. I wish I had a picture - it was hilarious.
9. She was the perfect dog for my condo-living self. She didn't shed, she could stay inside for almost 10 hours without needing to go outside, she waited to be invited onto the furniture (most of the time) and she didn't chew stuff except for her toys. I'm reminded of how good I had it with Molly when I'm around other people's dogs.
It was not always easy being a pet owner with my busy lifestyle and I was frequently guilt-ridden that I wasn't home enough or annoyed that I had to stop at home before going out again to take her for a walk but she was truly a great pet and companion. I know some would say "she was just an animal" but she loved me and I loved her. Having her in my life made me happy. I miss her, less now a year later, but I still wish I could come home and find her waiting for me.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Money, and of course, other stuff that's on my mind.
1. I spent a lot of money yesterday. I bought a sofa table, an end table, throw pillows, frames, a ceramic jug thingy with sticks coming out of it (sounds attractive, no?) plus a huge mirror and two pictures that may or may not be the right size. I also bought a cute Easter wreath for my front door and some picture frames for the table. A friend of mine is an interior designer and for my birthday (um, last MAY!) she promised me her knowledge and expertise for free. I don't have a home with style but I think I might finally be on my way. And the best part? Pretty much everything I bought, I picked out. She was there to give me a second opinion, help me with size, scale, and color but I actually did most of it. I'm feeling kind of proud of myself. I feel like I'm fairly "with it" with clothes, makeup, etc. but not with house stuff. My friend says I just don't trust my eye and I should. So maybe I'll be more confident from here on out. I don't know. But what I do know? I love the smell of the wood in my living room. It's just yummy! I'll take pictures once I get the wall stuff up. I still need lamps because my current lamps are silver and that won't work with the new decor plus some baskets or something like that. Anyway, it's a work in progress but it's exciting for me.
2. My very nice sister & bro-in-law came over to help me put the tables together because I couldn't get it figured out. I paid him in cinnamon crunch bagels from Panera and Cadbury Creme Eggs. The creme egg is my all time favorite candy so you know I must have been REALLY grateful to give them up so readily.
3. This kid in my ward came home from his mission. Before he left he was the most apathetic and challenging, um, stinker. And now? Complete 180. Incredible to see how much he has matured and changed plus he came home with a hilarious accent that he of course did not have before he left. Wonder how long that will last?
4. I woke up before 6 AM both days of this weekend. Competely wrong.
5. I got a letter written to the elder I've been neglecting. Finally!
6. I came home yesterday to find my lovely pot of mini daffodils and other cute spring flowers dug into. One of the daffodils was missing and there was dirt everywhere. I suspect a squirrel. Big jerk.
7. I made this cake today for the missionary open house I went to tonight. It is beyond good. It takes a little longer to make just because you separate the eggs and whip the egg whites but it's not hard at all and so very yummy. And it's light because I used light sour cream!
8. Have you seen this website, Pandora.com? You put in the name of a singer or band you like and then they make you a radio station based on that. Kind of fun. Thanks for telling me about it, Adrian!
I'm tired -- bedtime for me. Hope you all had a great weekend!
2. My very nice sister & bro-in-law came over to help me put the tables together because I couldn't get it figured out. I paid him in cinnamon crunch bagels from Panera and Cadbury Creme Eggs. The creme egg is my all time favorite candy so you know I must have been REALLY grateful to give them up so readily.
3. This kid in my ward came home from his mission. Before he left he was the most apathetic and challenging, um, stinker. And now? Complete 180. Incredible to see how much he has matured and changed plus he came home with a hilarious accent that he of course did not have before he left. Wonder how long that will last?
4. I woke up before 6 AM both days of this weekend. Competely wrong.
5. I got a letter written to the elder I've been neglecting. Finally!
6. I came home yesterday to find my lovely pot of mini daffodils and other cute spring flowers dug into. One of the daffodils was missing and there was dirt everywhere. I suspect a squirrel. Big jerk.
7. I made this cake today for the missionary open house I went to tonight. It is beyond good. It takes a little longer to make just because you separate the eggs and whip the egg whites but it's not hard at all and so very yummy. And it's light because I used light sour cream!
8. Have you seen this website, Pandora.com? You put in the name of a singer or band you like and then they make you a radio station based on that. Kind of fun. Thanks for telling me about it, Adrian!
I'm tired -- bedtime for me. Hope you all had a great weekend!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Stuff & a recipe
1. Daylight Savings on Sunday? UGH! I'm so not ready.
2. I still haven't written to the missionaries I need to write to and guess what? I got a letter today from the one I said I doesn't get many letters. I will write this weekend! So I called his mom and guess what else? He was just made District Leader this week. I'm so proud of him. He's a quiet guy, not the one you'd notice in a crowd but he's the boy who asks the girls to dance who would never normally get asked. (Gotta love that!) He's the nicest guy in the world, really, and I'm so excited he's doing well on his mission.
3. I'm going furniture shopping with a friend tomorrow morning. I hope I can finally find a table and/or shelf for my living room! I want grown-up furniture (aka, real and nice.)
4. I finished North & South - after a bit of a slow start, I loved it! Wives and Daughters should be here tomorrow. I started watching the A&E Pride & Prejudice that I recorded last month from PBS and you know? To me, the Keira Knightley movie is just SO much better. I know some of you would beg to differ with me but that movie is just perfection to me and the miniseries is just, not.
5. I ate out twice yesterday. CPK (2nd time this week!) for a friend's b-day lunch (sorry to rub it in, Janssen) and Red Robin for another friend's b-day dinner. A busy month for birthdays and it's only the 7th! Actually, that's the last for awhile. Phew! It's getting expensive.
But speaking of food, I love to bake and have a ton of yummy recipes for treats that are easy to make and bring to church functions, parties, whatever. I thought it'd be fun to share the recipes I've collected so maybe once a week I'll add one in here. I will try to give the original source, whenever possible.
Today's recipe: Chocolate Raspberry Crumb Bars. It's pretty straightforward. The only things I don't do are 1. put in the nuts and 2. measure the jam. I gave up measuring the jam and just dollop it on until I think it looks like it's enough. I'd recommend using a normal dinner spoon and keep the dollops on the small side but close together so you get raspberry in every bite. YUM!
2. I still haven't written to the missionaries I need to write to and guess what? I got a letter today from the one I said I doesn't get many letters. I will write this weekend! So I called his mom and guess what else? He was just made District Leader this week. I'm so proud of him. He's a quiet guy, not the one you'd notice in a crowd but he's the boy who asks the girls to dance who would never normally get asked. (Gotta love that!) He's the nicest guy in the world, really, and I'm so excited he's doing well on his mission.
3. I'm going furniture shopping with a friend tomorrow morning. I hope I can finally find a table and/or shelf for my living room! I want grown-up furniture (aka, real and nice.)
4. I finished North & South - after a bit of a slow start, I loved it! Wives and Daughters should be here tomorrow. I started watching the A&E Pride & Prejudice that I recorded last month from PBS and you know? To me, the Keira Knightley movie is just SO much better. I know some of you would beg to differ with me but that movie is just perfection to me and the miniseries is just, not.
5. I ate out twice yesterday. CPK (2nd time this week!) for a friend's b-day lunch (sorry to rub it in, Janssen) and Red Robin for another friend's b-day dinner. A busy month for birthdays and it's only the 7th! Actually, that's the last for awhile. Phew! It's getting expensive.
But speaking of food, I love to bake and have a ton of yummy recipes for treats that are easy to make and bring to church functions, parties, whatever. I thought it'd be fun to share the recipes I've collected so maybe once a week I'll add one in here. I will try to give the original source, whenever possible.
Today's recipe: Chocolate Raspberry Crumb Bars. It's pretty straightforward. The only things I don't do are 1. put in the nuts and 2. measure the jam. I gave up measuring the jam and just dollop it on until I think it looks like it's enough. I'd recommend using a normal dinner spoon and keep the dollops on the small side but close together so you get raspberry in every bite. YUM!
Chocolate Raspberry Crumb Bars
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ cup packed light brown sugar
¼ tsp salt
2 cups (12 oz pkg) semi-sweet chocolate chips, divided
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
½ cup chopped nuts (optional)
1/3 cup seedless raspberry jam
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 13x9 inch baking pan.
Beat butter in large bowl until creamy. Beat in flour, sugar and salt until crumbly. With floured fingers, press 1 ¾ cups crumb mixture onto bottom of prepared baking pan; reserve remaining mixture.
Bake for 10-12 minutes or until edges are golden brown and remove from oven.
Microwave 1 cup morsels and sweetened condensed milk in medium bowl on high power for 1 minute; stir. Microwave at additional 10- to 20- second intervals, stirring until smooth. Spread over hot crust.
Stir nuts into reserved crumb mixture; sprinkle over chocolate layer. Drop teaspoonfuls of raspberry jam over crumb mixture. Sprinkle with remaining morsels.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until center is set. Cool in pan on wire rack. Cut into bars. Makes 3 dozen
Have a delightful weekend!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Five emotions
1. Happiness: the rhododendrens outside my window are starting to bloom. They are generally early bloomers but it seems extra early this year for some reason. I just love seeing color but wish I could stop wearing sweaters and coats everywhere.
2. Boredom: I just can't get into American Idol this year and not sure why. I'm trying to watch tonight's but, eh. Maybe the fact that it's on three nights a week? It's just too much. And now there's a male stripper guy and didn't one of the girls get a DUI? We shouldn't be surprised and should this be so scandalous? I'm more grossed out by the guy who talked about getting his photo taken when he had stuff hanging out of his nose (was it the same stripper guy?) Ick.
3. Satisfaction: I went to the new CPK in town for dinner tonight -- my idea of heaven. Their portions are just the right size and I never leave there feeling like I overdid it. If you've never tried it, order the BBQ chicken chopped salad -- but only the half size. The full is just too much unless you have someone to share it with. Trust me. And if you just get a half, you can order the Thai Chicken Spring Rolls for an appetizer! Peanut sauce! Yum.
4. Guilt: Two young men I love are on missions and I was a great letter writer their first year and now, I'm failing them. What is my problem? I know one guy gets a ton of letters so I'm not feeling as bad about ignoring him but the other one probably doesn't get many.
5. Excitement: my second YCL meeting is tomorrow night. We'll be writing the camp song and our skit for camp kick-off. I hope we have a good turnout!
Have a fabulous day!
Jeanelle
2. Boredom: I just can't get into American Idol this year and not sure why. I'm trying to watch tonight's but, eh. Maybe the fact that it's on three nights a week? It's just too much. And now there's a male stripper guy and didn't one of the girls get a DUI? We shouldn't be surprised and should this be so scandalous? I'm more grossed out by the guy who talked about getting his photo taken when he had stuff hanging out of his nose (was it the same stripper guy?) Ick.
3. Satisfaction: I went to the new CPK in town for dinner tonight -- my idea of heaven. Their portions are just the right size and I never leave there feeling like I overdid it. If you've never tried it, order the BBQ chicken chopped salad -- but only the half size. The full is just too much unless you have someone to share it with. Trust me. And if you just get a half, you can order the Thai Chicken Spring Rolls for an appetizer! Peanut sauce! Yum.
4. Guilt: Two young men I love are on missions and I was a great letter writer their first year and now, I'm failing them. What is my problem? I know one guy gets a ton of letters so I'm not feeling as bad about ignoring him but the other one probably doesn't get many.
5. Excitement: my second YCL meeting is tomorrow night. We'll be writing the camp song and our skit for camp kick-off. I hope we have a good turnout!
Have a fabulous day!
Jeanelle
Sunday, March 2, 2008
A Sabbath Day Quickie
1. Fasting hasn't been a chore today - sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Today is good. However, I cannot wait until my big, cold glass of water after church. And dinner at Mom's. I have the best mom.
2. Something is going on with my eyelashes. Yes, I'm vain but who said I was perfect. Okay, seriously, what is wrong with my eyelashes? I seem to have lost a ton of them on both eyes - they are very thin and sparse and I don't remember them falling out. Is this normal? It makes me look tired most of the time. I hope they're growing back in. Soon.
3. I watched the original "Parent Trap" last night. That movie brings back such great memories. It was our Laurel class movie growing up -- we watched it at every slumber party. Well, that and "16 Candles." Oh how times have changed. I would never in a million years show that movie to the girls at church during a church activity!
4. One more thing -- freegans on Oprah? Did you see it? Shouldn't all that food just be given to homeless people instead of thrown away for people with the means to buy their own food digging through it because they have some sort of itch to rummage through garbage at midnight? I do not get it.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!
2. Something is going on with my eyelashes. Yes, I'm vain but who said I was perfect. Okay, seriously, what is wrong with my eyelashes? I seem to have lost a ton of them on both eyes - they are very thin and sparse and I don't remember them falling out. Is this normal? It makes me look tired most of the time. I hope they're growing back in. Soon.
3. I watched the original "Parent Trap" last night. That movie brings back such great memories. It was our Laurel class movie growing up -- we watched it at every slumber party. Well, that and "16 Candles." Oh how times have changed. I would never in a million years show that movie to the girls at church during a church activity!
4. One more thing -- freegans on Oprah? Did you see it? Shouldn't all that food just be given to homeless people instead of thrown away for people with the means to buy their own food digging through it because they have some sort of itch to rummage through garbage at midnight? I do not get it.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)