Bachelorette - Men Tell All

So with all of my camp preparations, I totally fell behind in my Bachelorette watching.  In the last two days, I've watched the hometown visits show that Holly (new mom of darling baby boy Gray) recapped and then last week's Tahiti episode that Lindsey (are you STILL on vacation??) blogged about.  If you haven't already, go to their blogs immediately and catch up.  I'm heading there shortly myself.

Now, on to this week's show.  Please note that I cannot in good conscience call this blog entry a recap because hello, last night's Men Tell All show provided next to NO new information.  It was two hours of total filler and all it did for me was entice me a tiny bit into watching Bachelor Pad.  So I guess ABC can feel like their job is done.

In a nutshell, last night's show consisted of:

• a whole bunch of clips of stuff we've already seen
• Ty looking way cuter than he ever did on the show (I think it was because his sideburns are shorter)
• the guys yelling at Weatherman (who was wearing yet another ridiculous jacket) for being a putz
• Kasey singing again (but this time, it was funny rather than creepy)
• a whole bunch of shots of mostly dressed to the nines girls in the audience disgusted and/or shocked by you-fill-the bachelor's-name-in-the-blank's antics
• a commercial for the Bachelor Pad show
• a preview for next week's finale

It also included an interview with Ali where we learned:

• She should never trust her first impressions because she initially thought Justin the wrestler was a good guy when really, he's well on his way to being a serial bigamist
• Listening to Kasey sing was very awkward for her (I would have used the word painful, Ali, but that's just me)
• Ali wouldn't have kept Kirk around if he hadn't shown her his scrapbook week one.  Um, am I the only one who totally forgot about the scrapbook? 

The best part of the show was the blooper reel.  My favorites were the one where we got to see Craig the lawyer speaking Spanish to Roberto only to realize that Weatherman knew Spanish too and My Boyfriend Chris Harrison coming out to announce the rose ceremony trying to clink his spoon on a plastic champagne glass.

Other than that?  It was a total waste of time to watch and therefore, a waste of my time to recap.

Now, with that being said, I'm totally excited for the finale next week.  My prediction is still that Ali will pick no-one but if she does pick someone, I'm really hoping it's Chris.  And not just because I find him enjoyable to look at (when his hair isn't overly pointy or he isn't wearing that lame periodic elements t-shirt.)  They just seem like a better fit for long term (and I use that term VERY loosely.)  But Roberto seems like a good choice too so that's why I'm expecting her to pick neither because why on earth would she pick a good guy, right?

What's YOUR prediction???

Stuff I don't want to forget

Stake YW Presidency.  Love my pigtails with mismatched scrunchies!

I'm back from camp, physically exhausted and in dire need of sleep but I wanted to write down a few thoughts before the details leave my mind forever.  It was a wonderful week filled with faith-promoting experiences, a whole lot of laughing and hardly any sleep.  It hurts a little to think this was my last year as assistant director but I know I'll enjoy a little more time to myself next year and feeling a whole lot less stress.

I never want to forget the night that I woke up to a voice telling me "now" and seconds later, I heard one of the girls having a nightmare.  She was trying to get out of her bunk, crying, and not sure where she was.  I spoke to her through the darkness of our longhouse and calmed her down until she was able to go back to sleep.  I'm so grateful for the prompting to wake up at just the right time.

I want to always remember the transformation of one of the girls who started the week not talking to anyone and separating herself from everyone else.  By the end of the week, she talked more, participated in everything, helped whenever asked and willingly prayed in front of a large group.

I want to remember welling up while watching my girls lead our camp song.  It starts out rough at the beginning of the week as they figure out their roles and gain confidence but by about Wednesday night, they are working together, a tight-knit and cohesive group.  The camp song (one that the girls write themselves) talks a lot about friendship and special things about our camp.  Seeing them singing together made my heart fill with joy.

I want to never forget how wonderful it was to be reminded how much Heavenly Father loves us.  Two of my girls prayed to find a pair of glasses lost by one of the younger girls in the river.  They prayed two separate times and before long, found the glasses in the murky river. I love that Heavenly Father reminded us that He hears and answers prayers - even for small and simple little things like a lost pair of glasses.

We do a special program for the girls and I never want to forget the look on their faces as they realized all that we had planned for them.  I never want to forget what it felt like seeing them be touched by the spirit that was present.  That moment of looking into their light-filled faces totally made up for every bit of stress I've felt over the last year. 

I want to always remember hugging one of the girls when she asked if I could be her mom.  She had just realized that I don't have any children and this sweet girl doesn't have a mom in her life.  I of course gladly accepted.  She promised to call me the next time she needed me at three in the morning and I promised to always answer the phone.

I never want to forget walking through the camp and singing to the other levels and realizing that this was one of my last opportunities to do that and crying my way through the songs.

I want to remember the laugh the girls made up using my last name:  shawshawshawshawshawshaw.

Even though we camp in stake-wide age-group levels, we do ward testimony meetings on our last night.  I loved ours but want to remember how I was dying to get back to the girls in my level so I could tell them how much I loved them and how grateful I was for each one of them.

I want to remember coming back from brushing my teeth on the last night and the girls surprising me with a little photo album they'd made just for me.  I thought I'd cried every tear possible but, um, no.

I never want to forget that moment on our final day when we were done with clean up and the girls had been given their tickets to leave.  But instead of rushing off to find their rides home, we all stood in a circle looking at each other, not wanting to leave.  A couple of girls left but then nobody else moved from that circle.  We talked about the reunion party we are planning, laughed a little and continued to just stand there, soaking up that last bit of togetherness.  Then I suggested we say one last prayer together and we did.  We hugged and then they all slowly left.  I've never in four years worked with a group of girls who were more tight knit.  I've always had amazing 2nd YCLs.  Always.  (And if you're one of my former 2nd YCLs, you KNOW I thought you were amazing too!) But this group of 14 girls was different than any other.  There were no cliques, nobody was mean to the girls who were different, everyone got along and they all understood the significance of this being their last year attending Young Women Camp.

It was such a gift from my Father in Heaven to be blessed with this special group of young women for my last year in this role.  I truly am blessed beyond measure.

Good and bad: pre-camp edition

Good: my friends Bret & Tammy had me over for dinner tonight and then Bret packed my car.  Remember last year?  Bret has mad car packing skillz.  I left their home feeling completely peaceful and ready for camp (well, I still have to pack the bathroom bags and finish writing my leadership training for Wednesday AM but other than that, I'm ready to go.)  Tammy isn't my assistant this year and I miss her.

Bad: Mom and I rinsed my cooler out with bleach and even though I was careful, I got bleach on one of my favorite black shirts.  Dang.

Good: I've been having trouble with CDs that I make on my computer...they don't always play anywhere except on a computer.  I had to make a total of 8 CDs for camp tomorrow and I made them all last night and then checked them this afternoon and every last one of them worked.  Such a tender mercy from Heavenly Father - truly.  I didn't know what I was going to do if I couldn't get working CDs (I bring the music for our camp song and for our YCL song plus a bunch of other stuff.)

Bad: I haven't been sleeping and I'm beyond tired.  I know I'll be fine once I get to camp but going into this week exhausted is not a great idea.

Good: I have such amazing friends who have just bailed me out all over the place with camp prep this year.  I have camp gear (both personal and YCL supplies) spread out to four different people because I don't own a big enough vehicle to take up all of the stuff (why they don't issue vans with callings like this, I will never know.)  Kim took a bunch of stuff in to get laminated for me when I couldn't get there on my day off.  Shanda has made labels and other handout-y things that I needed. Then we have Kara (private blog or I would link.)  That Kara has been just totally heaven-sent!  She's one of my former Laurels (Kim's oldest) and she just had a baby girl a few weeks ago.  She cut out name tags, wrote on all of my friendship beads and made my timeline (pictures later) 

Here's a picture of me with Kara's new baby Lorelai when she was just two days old and darling Jonathan.  Jonathan is just good for my soul.  That boy runs and jumps into my arms whenever he sees me and calls me Jeanellie.  Love him (and everyone he's related to - you know who you are!)

And finally, a personal note to my ready to deliver blogging friends Holly & Janssen:  if you have your babies this week, you have my permission to name her "Jeanelle." 

Same ol', same ol'

What's new with me, you ask?  You will be shocked to know that my life is crazy, work is nuts, and camp prep is kicking my booty.  Oh have I said all that before?  On THIS blog?  I'm sure I haven't.  Ever.  You're all totally imagining things.

Tonight I brilliantly bought one of those adhesive touch light things to put underneath my bunk where I store my stuff at camp so I will be able to see stuff without having to find my flashlight all the time.  Last year, my brilliant idea was to have a morning bag and a night bag for when I headed over to the showers/bathroom area. I'm not sure why I love this except I have things I need only in the morning and things I only need at night so it means I don't just bring one giant bag and have to search through stuff.  It works for me.  But I love that after nine years of camp, I can still improve.

Okay, enough about camp.  The fabulous and ready to deliver Holly blogged this week's show so click here and experience the hilarity that is Holly!  Someday I will actually have time to watch the show and comment myself.  Ah, someday.  I love someday.

And because it's my blog, I'm now going to include a personal note to Holly, Jill & Lindsey: thank you SOOOOOO much for calling me last night while you were out partying together in Utah.  It was almost as good as being there with you.  Okay, not even close to almost but I'm trying to be gracious and mature while inside I'm totally and completely jealous that you all got together without me.  But seriously, blog friends are AWESOME!  Love you girls and can't wait to see the pictures.  Here's hoping Holly smiled with her teeth showing!

Letters from me - summer edition

Dear Trophy Cupcakes,

Your new strawberry cheesecake cupcake is pure heaven.  You know the one I'm talking about, right?  Bottom right in the picture above with the strawberry cream cheese frosting and the graham cracker "crust"? Seriously fantastic.  Mom loved the new lemon meringue cupcake too.

Anything with nearly two inch high marshmallow frosting & lemon curd filling totally floats her boat.  Thanks for making such yummy treats but most of all, for being located just far enough away that I can't/won't visit your stores all that often.

Dear Officer,

Thank you for not giving me a ticket when I was late to my camp meeting the other night.  I still can't figure out how you knew exactly how fast I was going when you were driving toward me and not at a stop on the side of the road but I'll believe you. Not even wanting to see my license and then laughing at my jokes were nice touches as well.

Dear you,

Just because you know that helping people is what I love the most in life does not give you the right to stomp all over me and my feelings when I innocently tried to be kind to you yesterday.  All you've done is teach me that I will likely pause before I offer my help to you again.

Dear summer sunshine,

I love you.  Stay a little longer, please?

Dear monthly cycle,

I'm not sure what I dislike more -- the cramps or the insomnia.

Dear brain,

I know I'm expecting you to remember and retain a lot of stuff these days but please don't fail me now.  After camp is over, life will get back to normal and I'll only want you to remember important stuff like what Bethenny Frankel named her baby and oh yeah, we should buy toilet paper the next time we're at Target.

Dear blog,

You need a facelift.  I'm beyond bored with you but don't want to do it myself.  I'll tell my brain to remember to look into that next month, okay? 

xoxox
Me

"We don't really care about the dog."

Alternative titles for tonight's recap include:

"Hi, my name is Ali and I like to wear mini skirts"

"Hi, my name is Frank and I still live at home with my parents"
"Hi, my name is Chris and I prefer a pointy hairstyle"
"Hi, my name is Roberto and I'm mucho caliente."
"Hi, my name is Jake and I'm a pompous, controlling, self-important fool."

Oh my gosh - tonight's episode should really be two separate blogs because first we have the Bachelorette and her five Bachelors in Lisbon, Portugal and then we have the train wreck that is Jake and Vienna's "why we broke up" interview.  I'll try my hardest to keep this to a read-at-one-sitting length but I'm not making any promises.

Part 1 - The Bachelorette

My boyfriend Chris Harrison starts out by greeting the five finalists for Ali's love and telling them they'll all get a date in beautiful Portugal but there will be no roses given out on any of the dates.  Oooh!  Drama in the first minute!

Roberto gets the first date and then Ali surprises them in the boys' hotel or whatever wearing mini skirt #1. She and Roberto walk around the picturesque city with an artfully arranged bouquet of flowers in their shopping bag. They try to master the art of the jumping photo and Roberto fails miserably. They take touristy photos all over the city then dance romantically in the middle of a cobblestone street. Dancing turns into kissing in the middle of the street. These two are not lacking in chemistry.  Then they take their own personal cable car through the city and continue with more of the kissing.

We go back to the happy couple and see Ali & Roberto go to this old castle with an amazing view overlooking Lisbon. These two love to kiss. They are so stinkin' cute together. Seriously. She cannot keep her hands off of him.  They talked a little too, I think, but I only remember all of the kissing.

Next it's time for the two-on-one date with Ty and Frank.  Frank runs in for the first hug from a sweat-pants wearing Ali. And guess what?  It's time for another helicopter ride! How many helicopter rides has this girl taken??? They're off to yet another castle but this time it’s a dinner for three and it’s awkward. They start drinking to reduce the tension. Ali pulls Ty aside for the first one on one time.

Ty and Ali talk about his family. ZZZ. He says “tickles me to death” and comes across very cute. He loves that Ali has goals and ambitions (what they are, we will never know because we didn’t get to hear her say anything.)

Nervous, unconfident Frank then goes off with Ali and he has a big secret to tell her.  Is it that he works as a barista at Starbucks? No. Is it that he still has a girlfriend he’s pining for? Nope. Instead, he talks about going to Europe, giving up his condo in the city and then seguewaying into how close he and his family are. So close that…HE STILL LIVES WITH THEM!
 
HOLY COW!
 
What is this guy’s deal? He gets all emotional while telling her too. He bugs. Totally bugs. Frank says “the look in her eye, it doesn’t matter to her” that he lives at home with his parents. Frank, that look was pity. But you know what? Based on last week's total give-away scenes from the rest of the season, we know you're around for awhile yet.  Why, I do not know.  I mean, I'll cut him some slack for living at home at the age of 31 but something about Frank is just creeping me out and I cannot wait for all of the tears in Tahiti.
 
 

Another one-on-one date, another micro-mini. This time, Ali and Kirk have lunch at an outdoor café. Ali voiceovers that she’s all nervous and jerky again today (what’s up with her?) So Ali, is there anything we can do to shake you out of your funk?  How about a horse-drawn carriage that comes right up to your table to take you on a romantic ride to guess what? Another castle!  They snuggle at sunset and Kirk tells her that he hasn't brought a girl home in three years.  They have a candlelit dinner outside and Kirk talks more about his horrible mold illness that changed his perspective.
 
 

The next one-on-one date goes to Chris who gets the award for having the WORST HAIR EVER!  All episode up until his date, it's massively pointy but then, they wear helmets and go on a scooter ride together and he totally has Alfalfa hair in the back. 
 

But even worse than the bad hair, Chris cannot drive a scooter.  Granted, it's his first time on any sort of motorcycle but he hilariously drives about 15 miles per hour and cannot steer straight.  Ali makes driving references about how their relationship is moving slowly and says she's getting in the driver's seat so she can take it to the next level.  She drives about 45 miles per hour and stomps all over Chris's masculinity.
 
Ali and Chris stop on the side of a road for a little sustenance and I’m sorry to have to say this but the sunlight makes poor Ali’s roots look horrible. It looks like she may have touched them up herself because there are like three completely unrelated colors going on there – dark brown, brassy gold and then yellow. ABC – it’s your job to make her look good and she’s a cute girl. Don’t let her roots look like that. Ever. Again. 
 
Back to their date – more talk about Chris’s mom but it wasn’t obnoxious. Ali says she feels his walls coming down (and guess what? THEY ARE SITTING ON A WALL! Clever, Ali!) Chris then drives them to a beautiful winery (wonder how long it took them to get there with Chris doing the driving?)
 
Back to the winery where Chris and Ali have a little meal in amongst all of the big barrels. Chris talks about what it would be like if Ali were to meet his family and then breaks out the big guns and pulls out a bracelet of some kind, telling her he wanted to wait until it was the right time to give her a gift. He scored big points with the bracelet. Future contestants, take note. You will score major points if you save any gifts for romantic winery dates just before the hometown date selections.
 
It's rose ceremony time and if you’re keeping track at home, Ali is wearing her 3rd mini of the night. This one is an interesting, white and retro-rainbow striped number. Hmm.  Chris gets the first rose and thankfully, his hair is tamed a bit but still a little out of control. I can no longer blame the helmet but instead, I’m thinking the boys stayed up late one night and cut each other’s hair. Weirdo Frank gets the next rose, followed by Roberto. Surprisingly enough, Kirk gets the last rose and Ty is given the boot. I’m not sure if that’s the way I would have gone but I’m not the Bachelorette. Well, not THIS season anyway.
 
Ty tries to get Ali to say goodbye inside rather than out in the driving rainstorm (and hello, she’s wearing a mostly white dress.) But Ali insists on going outside because she knows it will make for better TV to have her shivering out in the driveway, alone, in the pouring rain. Is this foreshadowing for Ali not making a choice at the end of the season?  Hmm.  We shall see!  Ali pouts/whines/baby talks about how sorry she is to let Ty go as Ty drives off in the toasty warm limo.
 
Part 2 - The Jake & Vienna Breakup Interview
 
And now we get to the good stuff – the Vienna & Jake interview.
 

 
Ho. Ly. Cow.


I never in a million years thought I’d say that I believed Vienna over Jake. Granted, I can’t stand Jake anymore but he came off as a pompous jerk in this interview. He was so smarmy and horrible while Vienna comes across as really immature but genuinely hurt. My boyfriend Chris Harrison's right away asks why Vienna took her story to the tabloids and she recited her script from her PR agent perfectly. She said she wanted to make sure she had a voice because she knew Jake would go to the press himself.  I totally agree with her. People magazine is a glossier, prettier, more acceptable version of the Star magazine so he shouldn't act so high and mighty.  Really, he's just stupid he didn't get any money up front (although I'm sure he thinks his interview will just lead to more acting jobs.)

Anyway, Jake then gets on his high horse and says how mad he is at Vienna and how disgusted he is with her. He sounds like a girl when he accuses Vienna of flirting with him after she sold her story. (In Jake’s book – text messages = flirting.  Good to know!)

Jake accuses her of cheating on him with some actor and then with a gay guy. I think Jake was just looking for something salacious to use in his People magazine interview and she had the reputation of being a cheater so that’s what he went with.

My boyfriend Chris Harrison asked Jake to list all of the qualities that Jake loved in Vienna when they were in St. Lucia and I actually felt bad watching Vienna listen to that list because she was fighting breaking down. Then she totally fell apart and started rambling on and on about how she couldn’t get a job. Awkward and uncomfortable.

Jake and his high and mightiness KILLS ME. He is totally playing the innocent victim here and it was just ugly. Strangely enough, Jake tries to get a word in amongst all of Vienna’s ranting and he says “Baby, be quiet.” And it wasn't in a sarcastic sort of way but in a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of way.  Um, you still call her baby? Interesting.

Then there’s lots of back and forth about Vienna’s dog and how Jake paid to fly it out to California and other good stuff. Then Vienna goes over the edge and throws a fit and storms out and locks herself in the bathroom when Jake raises his voice at her, telling her to stop interrupting him.

She never comes back out so Jake gets the last word, talking about how he never had a relationship where he raised his voice.  WhatEVER, loser.  I'm done with you.

And finally, since tonight is the night of bad hairdos, my boyfriend, Chris Harrison, takes the cake with a totally flat/square hairstyle in the Jake/Vienna interview.  I think he should have gotten a haircut before filming.  
 
Next week are the long-awaited hometown dates.  I guess country boy Ty isn't the one with the taxidermist father.  Who on EARTH will it be?  I can hardly wait to find out!

Waking up early on a day off random thoughts

I had family here all weekend (pictures to come - or I might just get lazy and put them on facebook only.  We'll see.)  I loved all of the family time.  My three younger sisters plus my eldest sister was here plus my 36 year old niece and her whole family (yes I have a niece who is older than many of you reading this blog.)  I love my family.

I really don't love fireworks.  I mean, I like the big up in the sky ones but doing fireworks at home stresses me out because I don't ever trust them to do what they are supposed to do.  My favorite moment of fireworks with the family last night was watching my sister Jaylene chase after the ones that release parachuters that float down from the sky.  She loves those and watching her skip through her backyard to catch one was seriously a priceless moment.

I got released from my Primary chorister calling yesterday and I of course have mixed emotions.  Thankfully, I've remained unemotional about it (I'm terrible about goodbyes of ANY kind.)  It's going to be good to let it go but I will desperately miss being in that Primary room every Sunday.  I felt like I was doing something meaningful in that calling so hopefully I'll feel that with the stake one.  Oh and if you are or anyone you're related to is in a bishopric, please remind them to make a quick phone call the night before to the person who's being released.  It's just common courtesy and allows the releasee time to gather stuff to pass to the new person plus keeps them from being caught off guard (even when you know it's coming, it is still nice to be told "it's happening tomorrow.")  Getting off my soapbox now...

The new chorister is my sweet friend Christina.  She's going to be awesome even though she's a little nervous and has never done anything like this before. I'm hoping she develops the same love for this calling that I have.  It's seriously my most favorite calling ever and I hope I get to do it again (and again) in this lifetime.  Oh and yesterday's Primary highlight was a little three or four year old boy who, when asked for his favorite song, said "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and then when I asked him to choose again he said "Ghostbusters."  They don't say stuff like that in Relief Society, people. 

After a "summer" of 50-60 degree weather, we finally have some high 80s/possibly low 90s temps coming our way this week.  I cannot wait.  It rained off and on all weekend.

Kim has made this cake twice in the last month and very graciously shared it with me.  I think it's my new favorite dessert.  She gave me a slice of it yesterday and it's all I can do to not go get it out of the fridge and eat it for breakfast.  Yes, be very impressed that I got the cake at like 4 PM yesterday and I haven't even touched it yet.

Tonight I'm blogging the Bachelorette.  I think the Jake/Vienna interview is part of tonight's show too.  Oooh.  It's gonna be good!