Fulfillment

This is a personal and self-indulgent blog entry. Proceed at your own risk.

I had the great opportunity last night to listen to Sister Julie Beck, the General Relief Society President, speak to a packed chapel and gym full of Relief Society sisters. Prior to her talk, we were counseled (through a letter from the First Presidency) to not publish our notes from meetings with church leaders so I will only share my feelings and impressions because I am a rule follower!

I, like a lot of people, don't have the ideal life that I planned for myself as a teenager but Heavenly Father didn't promise us the "dream. " He promised us experiences. My experience here on earth isn't necessarily what I would have chosen for myself but it really isn't bad being me. I have a lovely, wonderful life and I'm surrounded by equally lovely and wonderful people who support and love me. Some people might think I'm missing out because I don't have the ideal but I received a powerful witness last night about my role as a single woman on this earth at this time. It confirmed to me something I know (most of the time) that I'm not missing out on anything at all.

My responsibilities as a single sister are great. I'm to take care of wives and mothers who are weary because I have the energy and strength to do so. I'm to take care of the poor, the needy, to do missionary work, to work in the temple. Sister Beck also mentioned that many of the single sisters are technologically savvy and I laughed at that part because, hello, I am the gadget queen!

I talked to two friends today at church who also attended the meeting last night and they both said to me "weren't you overwhelmed by what you're supposed to do as a single sister in the church?" And honestly, I'm not. Not even a tiny little bit. My life has always been filled with purpose and direction and last night was just a sweet confirmation that I'm living the kind of life my Heavenly Father wants me to live. Of course, I need to do more (don't we all!) but I only feel peace and contentment as the messages from last night mill about in my head. I'm fulfilled by my role as a single sister. I'm grateful that I finally have some kind of explanation as to why I am the way that I am.

It's okay for me to still want the ideal, to hope for a husband who is a faithful Priesthood holder and a family to call my own. But you know what? I'm going to continue doing what I already do which is to acknowledge the sad and the hurt when it comes and move forward. I'm going to magnify the gifts I've been given instead of wishing for things I don't have. I'm also going to enjoy the experiences as they come my way (please say you'll remind me of that when life gets crummy??)

And now, I've gotta go make a carrot cake for my friend with lung cancer. And yes, I planned to do that BEFORE last night!

Saturday status -- before I take a nap

I just got home from our annual Primary pajama breakfast. It always sort of amazes me how these things come together and then I'm amazed again when activities go so well. We had yummy food, a good turnout, nearly every teacher/Primary worker attended, the kids had fun and on and on. My angelic mother helped me make 100 pancakes last night. She is truly the best. Here's a picture of our Primary presidency:

Later today I'm going with some friends to hear Sister Julie Beck speak. I can't wait!

A fix-up is afoot at work. It's a guy I've never met but we have mutual friends. We'll see if anything happens but I'm a bit nervous. I don't really enjoy fix-ups.

TV: Wuthering Heights is going to be on PBS Masterpiece Classic tomorrow night and next Sunday! I enjoyed American Idol this week. I still haven't watched Biggest Loser but I saw Bob's freakout. Sheesh! I loved Dwight's little song on the Office. So funny!

And that's all I've got...Shaw out! (I need a last name with two syllables, don't I?)

Dear upstairs neighbor,

We live in condos that have pretty well soundproofed walls but crappy soundproofing between the floors/ceilings. At the risk of sounding like a crochety old woman (and because I'm passive-aggressive), I'm compiling a list of things you do, on a blog you don't know even exists, that drive me crazy:

1. Do you ever take your shoes off when you're at home? Ever?
2. Is it really necessary to do laundry at 11:30 PM on a Tuesday night? How about at 6 AM on a Saturday? I know things come up, you run out of underwear, whatever, but seriously, once a week?
3. And while we're talking about laundry, did you ever stop to think that if you start a load of laundry and then get in your car and drive away, it MIGHT not be a good idea? At least 1-2 times a month, your washing machine goes off balance or whatever and you're not there to stop it. I keep waiting for it to fall through the ceiling as it's thumping away but it hasn't yet. Maybe you could try smaller, better-balanced loads? Just a suggestion...
4. I admire the fact that you walk on your treadmill every day but at 10:45 PM on a weeknight? Treadmills are kind of loud, in case you weren't aware.
5. Do you go through a lot of toilet seats? I would think dropping the lid from the upright position so that it slams on the porcelain bowl each time you use it would end up causing something to crack eventually.
6. Would you consider buying a newer, less squeaky bed? Preferably before your next sleepover?

All of these reasons have caused me to have to sleep with earplugs. I don't feel overly safe sleeping with earplugs living in a ground floor condo. It would make me happy to be able to hear the axe murderers and rapists as they are breaking in rather than when they are already in the room and standing over my bed. I do keep a baseball bat under my bed but I really think I need the element of surprise to be effective.

Thanks for the consideration,
Your perfect neighbor

Happiness is...

Since I know you're wondering, my idea of happiness is hugging Mr. Crushworthy on a Tuesday morning.

Sigh.

Since I haven't talked about him in awhile, I will confirm that yes, he is still quite dreamy.

I know you're all wondering what he looks like and well, he looks a little like Dean Winters. If you've never heard of him, you've probably seen him in something:

Yum.

My confession.

Dear you know who,

I have to confess a lie. It was a lie on the Sabbath which we all know is the WORST! When you called and asked if I was ready for church, I said "of course." But truly, I was in my pajamas and I hadn't washed my hair since Thursday. I could tell by your voice what you needed to hear, so I lied. And come on, we all know friends are more important than clean hair.

Now I have to go back to watching "The Bachelor" with my hands over my eyes. Cute Jason has kissed like 4 different girls tonight and it's only week 2! Holy cow, this show embarrasses me but I cannot stop watching it.

Love you forever,
me

Things I love right now

• A warm home
• Taco salad for dinner
• The West Wing reruns on Bravo
• Being almost overwhelmed by the Spirit during Fast and Testimony meeting
• A surprise Sunday afternoon snow that lasted long enough to keep me home last night but not enough that I couldn't go to work today
• The fact that Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell named one of their twin daughters after Dolly Parton

How I spent New Year's Day

Get ready -- it was a VERY exciting day, befitting a young (in my mind) and carefree single girl like myself:

• Set my alarm for 8:15 so I wouldn't sleep the day away.
• Immediately got sucked into the day long "Biggest Loser 3" marathon. Watched every episode. Yes, 13 hours long. I am so impressed with myself.
• I showered but returned immediately to my pajamas.
• I made the somewhat difficult decision to not ever eat my beloved taco soup again (heartburn - blech.) I have two containers of really wonderful soup if anyone wants it.
• Did the dishes from the baking I did the day before.
• Played a game on my computer.
• Accidentally marked as "read" the over 350 unread posts in my Google Reader. That was strangely freeing (they were only the stamping blogs, not the "favorites" that I keep current on. You know I'm talking about yours.)
• Drank a lot of water. I love water.
• Made the decision to officially take a day of vacation tomorrow. Yes, we're supposed to go back to work on a Friday. How lame is that? But I've grown too fond of being leisurely. Work can wait until Monday.
• Said goodbye to one of my most favorite girls, Callie, who returns to BYU on Friday. We finished the jigsaw puzzle we started a few nights before and talked about her dreamy boyfriend. It was a wonderful way to end the night.
• Blogged.

What I did not do: talk on the phone, watch football or nap. It was a good day to think and ponder what I want to work on in 2009. Maybe I'll blog about that, maybe I won't. ;)