Family pictures

My mom's birthday is this week so we got together on Saturday to do a little celebrating by taking a family pic, which we haven't done in ages.  My brothers weren't crazy about it but played along with our gray/pink/denim theme.  My sister's friend, Miss Andrea (she's my friend too, so there) very kindly came over and took our pictures in my mom's front yard.

In the rain (I am loving Jen's "work!" pose.)

With bossy girls telling the photographer what to do. 

And boys who weren't the least bit excited about being there (but they faked it well, don't you think?)

But I love the pictures and the cute girl who took them.

But most of all, I love the people in them.

You are where you belong.

I struggle in my calling.

There, I said it. 

I have yet to feel completely comfortable as my stake's secretary to the young women presidency, even though I've been in this position for six months.  There are a lot of reasons why but mainly I often wonder why I'm serving where I am. 

I am a highly skilled invitation maker, paper cutter user, email sender, minutes taker, and thank you card sender.  And let's be honest, I do a lot of those same type of things as my actual paying job. 

But I frequently wonder why I'm in this calling where I'm often reminded that I'm not the same as the other presidency members and in my own pity-filled mind, less than everyone else.

I've gone back and forth wondering if it's a pride thing and I really don't think it is (completely -- because let's be honest, pride is always a factor, people.)  But I don't need to be in charge.  I don't need to be front and center.  I don't need to lead.  I don't need to be the decision maker.  Yes, every calling is important.  I know this one is too.  I just want to feel like what I do really matters.  I felt like my work mattered when I was teaching music to the Primary children.  I knew I made a difference when I was assistant camp director.  But this?  I'm not there yet.

We had our monthly marathon (3 hours) committee meeting last night and I could not leave fast enough when it was finally over.  Why?  I was plainly told again that my role is not the same level as the other ladies in my presidency and I left feeling inferior to everyone else.  I know the guys who said it had no idea that they were hurting my tender little feelings.  But I'm an ultra sensitive girl (aka I cry a lot) and I left feeling crushed.

My friend Lisa saw the slight too and called me on her way home but I couldn't answer through my tears.  We texted back and forth and she told me things I know are true: we are all equal members of this presidency, your opinions are valued, the Lord put you in this position to be a voice, not to just take notes etc.

I know what she was saying was true but I still cried a lot last night.  Then I got an email notifying me that someone had written on my Facebook wall.

It was the cute girl pictured above.  (Now, that picture is several years old but I love this pic so much I had to put it on my blog.  It was crazy hair night at YW camp 2005. You should have seen her on stage trying to win. I wish I had it on video.  She WORKED it.)

Anyway, that cute girl had done the whole "like this post and I will give you a truth" status update on FB.  I've ignored all of them until today and clicked "like" to her post and went to my meeting.  At 11:10 last night, she posted this on my wall:

you are such a great example and strength to me. you are always serving others and putting their needs before your own. you are where you belong. without your influence and love my girls would not be thriving as they are today. including me. you are so strong and loved. i know that you will be greatly blessed for your amazing spirit and kindness to others. love you lots shawshawshaw :D

(Note: she doesn't have daughters -- I think "my girls" means the other girls in her age group.)
 
But I read that and instantly thought "Lisa told her what to write."  But Lisa saw it too and was as amazed as I was that this sweet girl could be so in tune that she said the exact things Heavenly Father wanted me to hear.  I hadn't even started praying - I was too busy crying.  But He knows my heart and sent me my own little message, through this darling daughter of God.
 
I'm not miraculously cured.  My heart  is still quite tender and I still don't know how to find that balance of being a vocal presidency member when in the minds of some, I'm not as important as the rest.  But, there is one thing I know for sure:
 
I am where I belong.

Three things I love

1. I got boo'd last night.  This cute little family I love and adore surprised me with these yummy cupcakes. 

I love that the girls thought of me when their mom asked who they should boo.  (In fact, this was the first time I've ever been boo'd in my life!) I loved listening through the door as their dad warned the girls that I might answer the door quickly.  I loved making a big fuss (for effect of course!) when I saw the cupcakes outside my door and I especially loved seeing a cute blonde head in their car duck really quickly so the surprise wouldn't be spoiled.

2. I loved this story my sister, Jaylene posted on her Facebook.  She took her kids to the pumpkin patch and told her four year old son, Jax, to go catch a chicken (knowing there was no way he could catch one and trying to do so would keep him occupied for awhile.)  One minute later she heard Jax say "Mom?" and she turned around and saw this:

I still can't believe he caught one! He's so dang cute.

3. I love Grover from Sesame Street.  You can have your Elmo, your Kermit, your Big Bird.  I will always and forever love Grover most of all.  You've probably seen this already but seriously?  I love it and it needs to be on my blog.

A whirlwind weekend

I had such a busy weekend and I thought you'd all like to know what I've been doing the past few days.

Friday, I went to Portland with Boni & Lisa to a Stampin' Up Regional event.  We didn't want to have to pay for a hotel so we got up super early and left at 5:15.  Yes, that's AM.  When the sun finally came up, we kept seeing these huge flocks of geese flying overhead.  I got some pictures but they really don't do it justice.

Boni and I were obsessed with these geese.  I think we saw about 8-10 flocks flying overhead like this.  Crazy.

The best part of the day was getting to see my fabulous friend Shannon.  Isn't she pretty?

We started out as blog friends but we're for real friends now.  We were going to have dinner Friday night after the event but she was a little under the weather plus we were tired and dreading the drive home so we canceled.  Sigh.  Why do so many of my fun friends live so far away?  (Yeah, you know you who are.)

We got home Friday night around 9 PM and then Saturday morning, I was out getting new tires on my car by 10 AM.  Then I went to Trader Joe's (why oh why can't I have one closer to my house?) and then to see The Music Man that the next stake over was putting on.  The leads used to be in my ward and it was super fun to see them in the show.  My cute friends Skyla and Lily were also townspeople and it was so great to see them up on stage too.  (No pics...just imagine the cute costumes and stage makeup.) Skyla is 10 (I think?) and she apparently spotted me in the audience from the beginning and she was so excited to come hug me afterward.  I write this so I will remember to keep going to things like plays and concerts because it makes the people in them so happy when their friends and family attend.

Then Saturday night was the adult session of Stake Conference (great meeting) and then a stake youth dance. I got home at 11:30 PM.  Ugh. Long day.

Sunday we had an 8 AM "fireside" for the youth with our visiting general authority, Elder Ringwood.  Then conference at 10 AM which ended a few minutes early so I was home by noon.  I ate lunch, then took a  short nap (mmmm...nap.)  My home teachers came over at 4:00 (which means I had to pick up a little because my entry way was filled with shoes and bags.)  At 6 PM I went to a YW in Excellence night. I came home at 7:30 and was in my pajamas at 7:35.

What did YOU do this weekend?

Put a Fork(s) in it!

I had a fun little getaway this past weekend.  My friend HJ and I like to take at least one weekend away together every year and we chose Forks for this year's trip.  If you read or go to the movies, you know a little bit about Forks (aka the home of the Twilight series.)  It's a little town on the Olympic Penninsula of Washington state, about four hours away from my house.  Oh and FYI, I'm terrible at the self-portrait.

We stayed at a very darling little place called the Quillayute River Resort.  It's a former fishing lodge that this couple has renovated.  I loved it from the minute I opened the front door.  Each of the units (only six units in the entire place!) has a little living room, dining table, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom.  I loved the gas fireplace in the living room and the heated tile floor in the bathroom.  It was beautiful weather while we were there but just above freezing each morning.

The kitchen had the cutest little retro style appliances.  We brought all our own food (I made my favorite chicken tortilla soup, HJ brought stuff for BLT's and then we had lots of veggies, fruit and chips to snack on in between.)

The river was literally 20 feet from our front door.

So pretty!  It was sunny and blue sky the entire weekend.  We totally lucked out!

The ocean was a short four mile down the road and we went there Saturday morning.  A big ol' deer jumped in front of my car as we drove there (a 4 point buck, thank you very much) but thankfully, I was driving slow enough to stop before hitting it. (Sorry - no picture. We were too busy freaking out at the time.)

The beach was just beautiful.  We wished we'd brought chairs and our books (and probably a blanket) and if we had, I think we would have stayed all day.  There is nothing more entertaining to me than watching the waves.

We spent a few hours walking up and down the beach and HJ collected a bunch of rocks for various projects (she's an art teacher.)

Later we drove into the bustling metropolis that is Forks.  There are Twilight references everywhere.  We went into three little shops in town and all were chock full of Edward & Bella stuff.  My favorite thing was watching the 14-15 year old girls oohing and ahhing over everything in the stores.  Here's a pic of me in one of the stores in front of the Forks High School replica lockers. I drew the line at putting my head in the headless Bella body standing in between Edward & Jacob.  And yes, I have ugly tennis shoes on (for the beach, people!)

We went back to the resort to read and relax in the sun.  We had fun watching the people fishing on the river. 

The next day we drove the long way home so we could see more of the beaches and the Olympic National Forest.  I want to go back and go to this place:  Ruby Beach.

  

It was just beautiful and there was a lighthouse out on the island behind me. Oh and you probably can't tell but taking this picture scared me.  I wouldn't step over the guardrail because it was like a sheer dropoff to the beach below.  Heights freak me out.  

And yes, I did in fact wear my slippers pretty much the entire weekend. That's part of the reason why this was one of the best weekends ever.

Well, hello (an update)

1. I've been sick for the last three weeks and found out today it's bronchitis.  Antibiotics (875mg, thank you very much), cough syrup with codeine and an inhaler later, I'm finally starting to feel more like myself.

2. I saw Secretariat on Monday night.  It was very entertaining and exciting, even though, hello, we totally knew what was going to happen.

3. Kim and I went to see a play and left at intermission.  It had no redeeming qualities and we held out no hope for it improving so we left and felt great about it.

4. I went to the temple with one of my former Laurels who will soon be leaving for a mission.  Oh, how I loved being there with her and boy do I love her.  She's something special and the people of St. George, UT are SO lucky to be getting her for 18 months.

5. I'm going to Forks, WA this weekend.  No, not for the Twilight stuff but I will keep an eye out for the Cullens.  My friend HJ and I will be staying here - I'm excited.  Maybe even excited enough to take pictures that I will then post on this here blog.

6. (Note to Vanessa, stop reading now) The Sister Wives people will be on Oprah tomorrow night.  Cannot wait.  The only Oprah show I'm looking forward to more is the one coming up the end of this month where she will reunite the cast of Sound of Music.  Can you even imagine how wonderful that's going to be???

Gotta go watch Iron Man 2 starring one Robert Downey Jr. 

Sigh.  Isn't he just dreamy?

Sister Wives - for real this time

Okay, I've given you all a few days to watch it...so have you?  Sister Wives is a new TV show on TLC on Sunday nights.  It's a reality show about a polygamist family:  one husband, three wives (soon to be 4) and 13 children (soon to be plus 3 stepchildren.)

Here's is the main man...Kody:

I cannot get past the hair.  At.  All. Especially when they show him first thing in the morning and his hair is all over the place.  Cut it, Kody.  Let.  It.  Go.  Short hair doesn't make you less of a man, Kody.  I promise.  Anyway, he also drives a mid-life crisis sports car, which struck me as kind of funny (and cheesy) for a dad of 13.

Here are the wives (the one with the dark hair is the new one that Kody is "courting" right now.)

The original three wives and Kody have been together 15+ years.  They live in a big house (built by other polygs) with lots of doors and kitchens so the three wives all have their own homes within the home.  Kody's stuff is spread all over the house because he moves from wife #1's bedroom to wife #2's bedroom etc. every night.

Kody has some sort of sales job.  Two of the wives work and one of them (the pregnant one, 2nd from left) stays home with the kids.  The older kids go to polyg schools and everyone sort of co-parents everybody's kids.  We see them praying together, eating meals together, working in the yard together, etc.  Very very "normal" except for the whole polygamy thing.  Oh and they also point out that they aren't LDS.  Instead they call themselves fundamentalist Mormons.  All but one were raised in plural families (so crazy that there are so many out there.)

I have been thinking about this show all week...especially since the news this week said they were being investigated for bigamy.  I think I have a hard time with the police coming after them because, hello, there are a lot of things that should be being investigated out there.  HOWEVER, if they are getting welfare benefits or whatever, yeah, throw the book at them.  But with three of the parents working full time outside the home, wouldn't they be  making enough money to pay their own way without government assistance?  Yeah, yeah, yeah, they are breaking the law I guess but did he legally marry wives 2, 3 and 4 or did he just ceremonially "marry" them?  I guess you can also make a case that their life may be hurting those children but it's also all they know and they seemed pretty happy and well cared for...but I don't know what to think.

What do YOU think?

And hello, could I possibly have used more " " marks in this post?