Full heart

Here's why:

I went to the temple yesterday morning with dear friends, carrying my darling new bag given to me by my bosom friend, Kim.  (My bag is super cute - black and white damask. My old one was about 15 years old and in dire need of replacing.)

I spent the day yesterday celebrating the marriage of a girl I adore to her cute husband.  Anna was a beautiful bride and she and Zach were just so happy the entire day. The reception was beautiful too. Tricia, the mom and my baking buddy, did an amazing job creating a winter wonderland at the church.  Three huge trees in the center of the cultural hall.  Touches of pink, silver and white everywhere.  Just beautiful!

I sat with Anna's darling sister Adrian at the luncheon and loved catching up with her and her equally cute husband, Aaron.  To top it all off, Robert was there too.  I love that family! It was a perfect day.

Today I taught Relief Society.  It's so not something I'm comfortable doing but I made it through.  I'm so grateful for the women who speak up and help fill the time.  I worried I would run out of material but thankfully it all worked out okay.

I felt inspired to do something for someone I love today and I'm so glad I did it.  She was grateful and so am I for inspiration and the means to help those who need it.

One of my former young women is home from a semester in Jerusalem and told me that she wrote my name on a piece of paper and placed it in the Wailing (Western) wall while she was there.  It was all I could do to not cry when she told me. 

I'm so blessed.  I'll try not to forget next time I'm feeling sorry for myself.  Really!

Why, why, why?

Why hasn't "Love Actually" been on TV yet this holiday season?  I can't watch this movie unedited because, well, it's got some pretty bad stuff in it.  But edited, the movie is just sweet and romantic and set during Christmas and it should be on TV at least once this month.

Why are the treats at Trader Joe's SO good?  From the dark chocolate covered caramels to the peppermint Joe-Joe's (so good used in Oreo truffles instead of plain Oreos) to the dark chocolate covered shortbread stars that my pal KMZT surprised me with today.  Trader Joe's knows how to do treats.

Why did it take a trip to Portland for me to realize that Salt City Candles now makes melters (a la Scentsy?)  I used to sell their candles several years ago and have hoarded a few of my favorites because I still believe there is not a better scented candle out there. That being said, I enjoy the Scentsy premise (i.e. no flame) but haven't really loved any of their winter/holiday scents like Salt City's.  I happened upon a kiosk in the mall when I was in Portland and thought I'd died and gone to heaven.  I currently have Victorian Christmas going in my cute Scentsy red snowflake warmer and next it will be either Candy Cane or Christmas Trimmings. So dang good.

And finally, why oh WHY did I agree to take the early shift tomorrow??  I have to be at my desk at 7 AM.  I am feeling the pain already.  Ugh.

Good news, bad news

Good news: my Christmas shopping is done minus 3 gift cards.

Bad news: my tree is not up.

Good news: my mom has wrapped all of my family's gifts for me.  She is seriously the greatest.

Bad news: I haven't wrapped any of my friend's gifts yet.  Gotta get on that.

Good news: I had a great time in Portland with Michelle last weekend.  We stayed in kind of a funky hotel near the airport.

Bad news: when I got there, I realized I forgot my brush.

Good news: I bought this one at Target and I have to say, I think it makes my hair so soft.  It's kind of amazing. It has to be the brush because I've changed nothing else.

Good news: Burgerville has peppermint chocolate milkshakes (a chocolate milkshake with crunched up candy cane) and yukon gold french fries.  We went there twice.

Bad news: the nearest Burgerville is about a 90 minute drive from my house (this could also be good news.)

Good news: our trendy hotel had an awesome TV with high def.

Bad news: no outlets in the actual bathroom and super strong pot smell in the hallway as we left Sunday morning.  Dear Aloft, no we will not be staying with you next December.  Thanks, anyway.

Good news: work is incredibly busy but great.  I love our new office AND I got a totally unexpected bonus.

Bad news: My calling is still so hard.  My meeting this week went until 10:45 PM on a work night.  Oh and we accomplished basically nothing in the 3.5 hours we met. I'm learning and growing, I'm learning and growing...

Good news: I'm going to bed at 10:00 on a Saturday night.  Yes, I rock.

Oprah is OOC*!

OOC = Out Of Control.  Yeah, I'm sick again, it snowed a bunch and paralyzed all of Western WA, I'm obsessed with all things Harry Potter, and we moved to a new office at work, but instead of blogging about any of those exciting topics, I'm gonna blog about Ms. Winfrey and her fantastic shows of late.

Almost every day, I'm amazed at what Oprah has on her show.  Sure, I still have the shows I delete without watching but for the most part, I turn on the TV and cannot believe what she has to show us.  Also, I'm totally loving the softer hairstyle these days.

Interested in seeing a reunion of the cast of Sound of Music?

Well, of course they would be on Oprah. And yes, I cried while watching it.  I will freely admit that I'm a dork.

How about Marie Osmond talking for the first and only time about her son who committed suicide?

Check.  Did you catch Marie's comment about her previous marriage where she said "you marry at the level of your self-esteem.  You have to have self-worth."?  Simply brilliant - like, I got goosebumps listening to her say that.

Wondering about the Cast of the Color Purple 25 years after the movie first came out?

Wonder no more.  I loved the very beginning where Oprah and Whoopi talked about how they thought the other was mad so that's why they hadn't spoken in years.  Such a good reminder to not let time pass without communicating with your loved ones.

Ever dream about seeing an interview with Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford together?

Yep, she had them on too.  I only watched The Way We Were for the first time about 5 years ago and loved it. And the tour of Barbra's home?  Wow.

Have you been wondering whatever happened to Phil Donahue and other former talk show hosts?

Well, here they are! My friend went to see Phil's show back in the day...it was about adults who liked to dress up like babies, for, um, fun. I have forever imprinted in my mind my friend and her sister's look of disgust when they were shown onscreen.  Hilarious.

How about Shaun Cassidy?

Oh my goodness - a big ol' check.  Seriously?  I loved Shaun Cassidy.  I subscribed to Tiger Beat and I thought he was just dreamy.  He sounded great singing a medley of his hit songs - watch the video here.

I could talk more about other shows I loved (Oprah and Gayle go camping!  Makeovers with Carson where one of the ladies comes out looking like a red-headed Cruella DeVille! Two whole days of Favorite Things (and the only two things I really wanted were the shiny red Coach bag and the Garrett's popcorn tin!)

But really, I can hardly wait until tomorrow's show with Garth Brooks.  Love. Him. His concert was one of the best I've ever seen.  Yes, ever.

I'm gonna really miss Oprah when she fake-retires and goes to her new network. How about you?

Celebrity Sighting!

I never see celebrities.  I think some people are famous-people-magnets.  I am not one of those people.  I never see anyone.  Oh there was that time 20 years ago when I met John Stamos at a car show (oh I need to dig out that photo) and of course, Pioneer Woman last April but basically, that's it.

But today?  Oh, I got lucky.

I was standing in a store that shall remain nameless (because it involves a little birthday surprise for my mom and she reads my blog.)  Anyway, I looked out the window as I was waiting in line and saw a famous person walking by, pushing a cart filled with groceries.

Do you want to know who I saw?

Okay, I'll tell you.

But wait!

Are you ready?

No seriously...are you ready?

You might think you're ready but are you REALLY ready?

Okay. 

The person I saw walking by was...

SHAMBO from last year's Survivor!

I know, right??? So dang exciting.

Her hair was a lot longer (still cut in a massive and major mullet) and she looked a lot tinier than she did on TV but it was definitely her.  She's a local.  For realz.

I really wanted to chase her down and say hi but it was dark and rainy and I didn't want to scare her.

But cool, huh?  An actual celebrity, like, 3 miles from my house.

So tell me a famous person you've seen...just try and top Shambo.

Family pictures

My mom's birthday is this week so we got together on Saturday to do a little celebrating by taking a family pic, which we haven't done in ages.  My brothers weren't crazy about it but played along with our gray/pink/denim theme.  My sister's friend, Miss Andrea (she's my friend too, so there) very kindly came over and took our pictures in my mom's front yard.

In the rain (I am loving Jen's "work!" pose.)

With bossy girls telling the photographer what to do. 

And boys who weren't the least bit excited about being there (but they faked it well, don't you think?)

But I love the pictures and the cute girl who took them.

But most of all, I love the people in them.

You are where you belong.

I struggle in my calling.

There, I said it. 

I have yet to feel completely comfortable as my stake's secretary to the young women presidency, even though I've been in this position for six months.  There are a lot of reasons why but mainly I often wonder why I'm serving where I am. 

I am a highly skilled invitation maker, paper cutter user, email sender, minutes taker, and thank you card sender.  And let's be honest, I do a lot of those same type of things as my actual paying job. 

But I frequently wonder why I'm in this calling where I'm often reminded that I'm not the same as the other presidency members and in my own pity-filled mind, less than everyone else.

I've gone back and forth wondering if it's a pride thing and I really don't think it is (completely -- because let's be honest, pride is always a factor, people.)  But I don't need to be in charge.  I don't need to be front and center.  I don't need to lead.  I don't need to be the decision maker.  Yes, every calling is important.  I know this one is too.  I just want to feel like what I do really matters.  I felt like my work mattered when I was teaching music to the Primary children.  I knew I made a difference when I was assistant camp director.  But this?  I'm not there yet.

We had our monthly marathon (3 hours) committee meeting last night and I could not leave fast enough when it was finally over.  Why?  I was plainly told again that my role is not the same level as the other ladies in my presidency and I left feeling inferior to everyone else.  I know the guys who said it had no idea that they were hurting my tender little feelings.  But I'm an ultra sensitive girl (aka I cry a lot) and I left feeling crushed.

My friend Lisa saw the slight too and called me on her way home but I couldn't answer through my tears.  We texted back and forth and she told me things I know are true: we are all equal members of this presidency, your opinions are valued, the Lord put you in this position to be a voice, not to just take notes etc.

I know what she was saying was true but I still cried a lot last night.  Then I got an email notifying me that someone had written on my Facebook wall.

It was the cute girl pictured above.  (Now, that picture is several years old but I love this pic so much I had to put it on my blog.  It was crazy hair night at YW camp 2005. You should have seen her on stage trying to win. I wish I had it on video.  She WORKED it.)

Anyway, that cute girl had done the whole "like this post and I will give you a truth" status update on FB.  I've ignored all of them until today and clicked "like" to her post and went to my meeting.  At 11:10 last night, she posted this on my wall:

you are such a great example and strength to me. you are always serving others and putting their needs before your own. you are where you belong. without your influence and love my girls would not be thriving as they are today. including me. you are so strong and loved. i know that you will be greatly blessed for your amazing spirit and kindness to others. love you lots shawshawshaw :D

(Note: she doesn't have daughters -- I think "my girls" means the other girls in her age group.)
 
But I read that and instantly thought "Lisa told her what to write."  But Lisa saw it too and was as amazed as I was that this sweet girl could be so in tune that she said the exact things Heavenly Father wanted me to hear.  I hadn't even started praying - I was too busy crying.  But He knows my heart and sent me my own little message, through this darling daughter of God.
 
I'm not miraculously cured.  My heart  is still quite tender and I still don't know how to find that balance of being a vocal presidency member when in the minds of some, I'm not as important as the rest.  But, there is one thing I know for sure:
 
I am where I belong.