I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I've finally figured out the personality trait I have that I really wish I didn't.
I'm a crier (cry-er?)
I really, really, really hate that I cry so easily. I think my crybaby-ness makes me look weak and well, like a baby. And honestly, I really prefer looking strong and like a grown-up. Plus crying freaks people out and it lets everyone know something is wrong. I think I would rather not have the sort of attention that comes when you are observed crying your eyes out. But unfortunately, I'm stuck with the crying gene.
Today I cried my entire drive home because I'm considering an opportunity to move into a new position where I work. The new job is a pretty amazing opportunity, working for a great leader, and I would sit a mere two desks away from where I sit currently. Yes, you read that correctly -- I said two desks away.
So now you're probably wondering why my opportunity to move into a pretty cool new position is one that would cause me to cry so much that I have a nose as red as Rudolph's. Did you read the above paragraph where I said I was a baby? Okay, good.
Anyway, this move would mean I would no longer work for my beloved boss nor would I work in what I feel is the greatest group in my entire company. I'm not afraid of taking the leap and making this change because the new job is one of those dream positions for someone who does what I do.
The thing that makes me so sad is the impending change in the relationships I have with the incredibly special people I've worked with for the last five years of my life. When you spend that many hours a day with people, you become almost like family with some of them. Yes, we'll still see each other, yes we'll still have some sort of friendship, I'm guessing but things will be different. I'm honestly not scared of that - I just hate that "loss" feeling and it makes me so very sad.
I really don't want to cry at work so my mantra for the next few weeks (thanks to "You've Got Mail" via "The Godfather") is "it's not personal, it's business." And like Kathleen Kelly, I just wish it wasn't so personal to me.
My hope is that I figure out some way to remain dry-eyed at work throughout the process.
Oh, who am I kidding? There's no way that's gonna happen.
5 comments:
Congratulations! I know how hard it is, though, to leave behind something great, even for something better.
I have that same gene. I must have gotten it from you, my second mamma. I think it freaked Andrew out a smidge when we were dating, but he "got used to it". Probably not though. But I love you and others love you just the same, and more because its real when you cry with us.
That sounds like a great opportunity for you and I am glad you are going to take it. And crying is okay. Just make sure you have lots of tissues.
We're goin' walkin'...that's how you're going to handle it. haha Crying endears you to people and pulls out the compassionate gene in others...sometimes that's all that's needed in this world!
I am SUCH a crier too!
I used to hate it so much, but i've come to realize that some people are just biologically different. We're not bigger babies than anyone else- our body just reacts differently.
Well, maybe that isn't scientifically correct, but it makes me feel better. :)
I can't wait to see you this week!
Crying is not weakness it us meakness. It is a good thing.
from one cry baby to another. I like what Kim said, "it brings out compassion in others", another good thing you do.
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