Dearest Matt,
I don't know that I've ever watched a season of "The Bachelor" from start to finish until now. But I fell for your sweet British charm the second you opened your mouth and was hooked. Of course, you're also quite pretty to look at so you helped make this at times painful to watch show actually enjoyable this season.
From the beginning, you seemed so different from all of the previous Bachelors. You quickly got rid of the drunk, idiotic drama queens and really seemed to be taking this "journey" (aka the most overused word on this show) to finding a wife very seriously.
But Matt - now I'm confused. You got rid of my pick for your future wife, Amanda, last night. Was it the "meeps?" Were you still creeped out by the fake parents she tricked you with last week? Was it the fact that she nervously used the word "like" 147 times when she was declaring her love for you? (If you didn't watch, oh it was painful.) But what's confusing me the most, Matt, is you've made Shayne and Chelsea your final two.
Seriously?
Matt, Shayne is so going to dump you! Can't you see it? Yes, she's darling and you have great chemistry together but she is 22 and wants to be an actress. Do you really think she's going give up her sunny, shoe-filled, Malibu Barbie lifestyle to live in rainy London doing crummy plays for the rest of her life while raising your rugby-playing children? I just don't see it happening, I'm sorry.
And Chelsea? I guess I can see Chelsea as your future bride, even though you had the most awkward date in history with her. But you obviously forgave her for being distant during the day when that evening, all of America got to witness her tossing her underwear on the bed before she went out to model her "nightdress" for you. (Say it with me now people...ICK!)
So Matt, I don't know what else to say except, good luck and godspeed. I'm just going to trust you know what you're doing since you've already proposed and given your heart and a big old diamond to one of them. Can't wait to see how it all turns out and here's hoping we're not reading about your breakup by the end of summer.
xoxo
J.
p.s. If any of my non-Bachelor-watching friends are worried that they need to stage an intervention for me, it's really okay. The show is over in two weeks and I'll be back to normal soon after.
2 comments:
Sorry, but Amanda was kind of socially "quirky" shall we say... and Chelsey, although it was the worst date in history, and she seems to have the emotional equivalent of a snail, she upped her stock QUITE a bit by the panty throwing..so, hence.. he will pick Chelsey and hopefully, she will get over her "I don't like to hold hands" issues because she nabbed a cute british guy, who seems to be, well, quite normal. Loved your post.. Oh, but don't hold your breathe for a happily ever after. You can't wait around to see if the people from the train wreck get to the hospital, because they won't. :) (I'll just set that expectation for you now. :)
Ha! I love it. The Bachelor's are all idiots...they pick the wrong girls. I always tell my husband that they think with their other body part (you know what) and not their brain!!!!!!! It's so frustrating. But, whatever. It's his life he's ruining, not mine. Thus I will forgive him, try to forget it, and too move forward with my life as if it never affected me! But it sure is great entertainment!!
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