Sometimes I'm a jerk.

I try hard to be a good person but sometimes I fail. Big time. I will now share two items that will prove my jerkiness.

Let me preface this first anecdote by saying that the sales associates at Penneys should always address you as "would you like a gift receipt?" because apparently their computers are so antiquated and stupid that they have to void your sale and then re-ring it if you happen to ask for your gift receipt mid-sale or after. And they complain and act majorly put out if you ask for it too late.

Reason #1 I'm a jerk:
Tuesday night I was buying a gift at Penneys and for the 2nd time in 5 days, the sales clerk did not ask me if I wanted a gift receipt. On Black Friday, I forgot to ask until the sale was complete so that's my fault. Yes the sales clerk should have just given me one rather than give me an excuse but it was Black Friday so I didn't push it. But last night, I remembered to ask! I was so proud of myself! But the poor sales clerk didn't know what she was doing and proceeded to take ten minutes to try and figure it out before she finally gave me the "we'll have to redo the entire sale" spiel. I now had 20 minutes to get home, pick up my sweet, elderly neighbor and get us both to Enrichment on time and I was at least 25 minutes away from home.

So I reacted as any mature, Christian, 41 year old woman would react.

I threw a little hissy fit.

Another sales woman came up to show the girl how to do it but she stalked off because I was such a jerk. I apologized to the 2nd sales clerk and said "I'm really not mean, I'm just late and tired of waiting and I really am sorry." She took care of it in less than 2 minutes and was very kind to me, even though I didn't deserve it. I felt like a jerk. It's not her fault that Penneys computers suck. I've worked retail so I've been on the other side. I need to remember how I felt last night the next time I want to snap at a rude sales clerk.

Reason #2 I'm a jerk:
I work with someone who is not very good at her job. She spends most of her day asking me or my friend how to do simple tasks that she should know how to do. Most of the time, we can take it. However, Wednesday was not a good day. I went to work crabby and my friend was crabby as well. We stood in the kitchen and snipped and griped about the "bad" coworker after she had left to go get lunch. Well, guess what? We stood there saying mean things long enough for "bad" coworker to come back and overhear part of our conversation.

I'm such a jerk.

She was more mad at my friend because she only heard me agreeing and not saying much but that's no excuse. I know better. I shouldn't talk about people like that - it's mean. I would feel terrible if someone did that to me so why did I do it to her?

I've learned my lesson. I'm going to be more kind. I'm going to be more careful about the things I say. I'm going to treat people as I would want to be treated. I'm going to try and be less of a jerk too. Wish me luck!